Jack's Diary - Day 38, November 7, 2013

            Although I wasn’t extremely tired from the previous ordeal, I just wanted to go back to my room. I was still surprised that I managed to get Lexi out of there without any harm being done to her. It felt good to succeed, for once.

            When I got back to my room, I think I must have slept for hours yet there was no rest to be found. All I saw when the dreams came upon me was the face and screams of Jane as she was being eaten alive and burned by the raging fire. Even when the memories seem so far away, they loom in my consciousness like a dust cloud that refuses to clear.

            I woke up with my ankle still hurting a little from the day before. I found a message from Mike on the nightstand. Basically, he apologized for making me promise to keep Lexi safe (which I would’ve done anyway), he’s going out alone to gather supplies because the base is running out of supplies, he wants me to meet with his brother Moses to help out, and not to tell Lexi where he went. Although I don’t approve of him leaving the base alone, there’s nothing to be done about it now. These jobs and troubles aren’t things he should be taking on alone. After I’d finished reading, I folded the letter up, put it in my pocket, and went to find Moses. It took me about an hour to find him since I had no idea where to find him or what he looked like. I asked everyone and finally found him. I introduced myself.

            “Oh, so you’re Jack. Glad to meet you,” he said.

            “Mike said that you needed some help with the barricades,” I said.

            “Yes, we could use some help. You can start nailing the wooden boards to the fence over there. Then place the scrap sheet medal overtop.”

            So I went to work. While we were working, I began telling Moses about my ideas to increase supplies and water in the base (rain collector, planting crops, hunting methods and traps, water purification system) as well as some weapons that could be made from materials in the surrounding areas. He listened, but only replied with, “Sounds interesting. I’ll think about it.”

            I was never good at reading people, but I knew that tone in his voice very well. I heard it throughout my life. It was the tone used when people are subtly telling you they either think your ideas are stupid or they just don’t care. I wasn’t about to let the matter go this time.

            “Exactly what’s wrong with the ideas?” I asked.

            “Nothing. They sound great,” using that same tone.

            “You’re right. They are great, but I know you don’t think they are. If you did, you would have already begun making plans to start them.”

            “Priority must come first.”

            “Food and water are a priority.”

            “Safety is the main priority. If we don’t get the walls ready, we could easily be overrun,” he said to me, finally looking away from the wall with a serious tone in his words.

            “No one is ever truly safe. A group of outsiders could easily infiltrate this place with enough firepower and determination. And a large group of soulless could knock down any of these walls given enough time.”

            He paused for a moment; probably trying to figure out what I meant by soulless. “If everything you said is true, then we should focus on defenses. Besides, we have enough food for a few more days and can scavenge for more later.”

            “From where exactly? I haven’t been here long, but you’ve probably already looted the nearby grocery marts and storage buildings. Canned foods don't grow on trees. What are going to do when the surrounding area has been picked dry of food?”

            “We’ll cross that bridge once we get to it,” he said. I began to detect a hint of anger in his voice.

            “By the time you cross that bridge, your people will have starved to death.”

            “That’s enough!” he yelled. “You don’t give the orders around here. We don’t have time to be plowing fields and hunting for animals when at any second, we could all be killed. I suggest you get your priorities straight.”

            “Funny. I was about to say the same thing about you,” I replied.

            Moses took a swing at me, but I blocked it. He was surprised by this, however, the look of distain on his face never went away. “I suggest you stay out of my sight. If you want to plant crops then go start your own base. Until then, you follow my orders. Understand?”

            “You’re a complete fool,” I responded. I then walked away back to the house. There’s no point in building a wall when there could soon be nothing to protect. When Mike gets back, he and I are going to have a talk.

            On my way to my room, I saw Lexi looking in a few of the rooms. I thought it was best just to walk passed her so she wouldn’t ask me anything. It didn’t work.

“Have you seen Mike?” asked Lexi. It turned out I could answer this question honestly.

            “No. I haven’t seen him all day.”

            She walked away. I entered and closed the door to my room. As I stared out the window, I saw just how barren the base really was. There was no green at all; nothing, but walls and weapons in the hands of the men who walked by. I guess this is what prison is like. It was then I realized that I might have another problem. Lexi may not be a genius, but she wasn’t stupid. She’d eventually figure out that Mike wasn’t at the base and she might be dumb enough to go out looking for him so I left my room and went to the base entrance and sat by it. It was the only way out of the base that I knew of and Lexi was about four feet shorter than the walls so she wouldn’t be able to jump over them. Still, I kept my eyes open just in case she tried.

            When night finally came, I heard footsteps approaching the entrance. It was Lexi carrying a bag of supplies. There were no lights so she couldn’t see me. The only reason I could see her was because she was in the path of the moonlight. As she reached for the door, I grabbed her arm.

            “You’re not going after him,” I told her.

            “You knew before, didn’t you?”

            “Yes, but that doesn’t change a thing.”

            “He could be hurt. I have to find him.”

            She began to struggle so I picked her up and began carrying her back to the house.

            “Let go of me!” she yelled.

            “Would you keep it down? Do you want to draw attention to the base?”

            She stopped making noise, but continued to struggle with me.

            “Lexi, stop it! He told me not to tell you.”

            “I don’t care.”

            “Well, he does. Besides, do you really think you’d be able to find him out of all the directions he could have went? What if you leave and he comes back? Then he’ll have to go out again to get you, putting himself in harms way again.”

            She stopped struggling. I put her down.

            “Putting yourself in danger isn’t going to bring him back here. You need to wait.”

            “What if he doesn’t come back?” She said, almost on the verge of tears.

            “If he’s not back by tomorrow, I’ll go out and find him and I won’t come back until I’ve found him.”

            That statement seemed to satisfy her enough for me to walk her back to the house. After she went into her room, I waited outside until she went to sleep and then went back to the entrance. I just made another promise, an unnecessary one. I could have just shoved her in her room and locked the door (I was tempted to do that before leaving the house again). Unlike the last one, I brought this upon myself. However, I wanted to have a jump-start so that I might succeed. Perhaps I should start looking for Mike now. Anyways, I decided to go outside the base and sit high up in a tree. Right now, I writing this wondering if I stay until morning or venture into the night.

- Jack's Diary