Evie's Diary- Leader?- Day 53

 Summing up yesterday...
He shook my hand. "Victor," he said.  He was still looking at me curiously, which made me unsettled. Maybe I've just been alone too long. I picked up Sam, who promptly snuggled into the crook of my arm and fell asleep. "You alone? Thought I heard others" I said, thinking conversation might smooth the awkwardness of the situation. "There's a group of us," he replied. Saw him glance over the large backpack I was carrying. Tightened my grip on the strap instinctively. "You should join us," he said simply. The ease with which this offer was extended left me suspicious. Wondered what the motivations behind it were. "Where I go, Sam goes," I said. He nodded. "Come on then," he said, turned abruptly, and walked back the direction he had come from. I followed, but my free hand that wasn't holding Sam, played with the hilt of my knife. Not sure this guy had the authority to just let me join; not sure what the reactions of the others would be. When we walked into camp, those who saw us stopped what they were doing immediately, hands went to weapons, eyes never left us. Victor walked on as though nothing had happened. I wanted to stop, count how many people there were, look at possible exit routes, but he led me straight into a tent.  A girl was sitting beside an unconscious man. "Julie this is Evelyn Rider. She is joining our group," he said with a finality. "I see Mike is still out. Has he woken up at all? Is his fever down?" he inquired. "No to both, but he has been murmuring in his sleep", she said with a sigh. I looked this Mike guy over. He was sweating profusely, skin looked clammy and pale, lymph nodes were swollen, and despite the overwhelming stench of the sewers, I thought I noticed the feint smell of decaying flesh. His clothes were sticking to him. I don't know these people I reminded myself. No obligations to them yet. For reasons I still don't understand I handed Sam to Julie, "Please hold him for a moment." She eagerly took him and began stroking his ears. Set my backpack down and opened it. I pulled out a bottle. "This is ibuprofen", I said as both Victor and Julie watched me intently. I handed two of the pills to Victor. "Give him one now. If the fever hasn't broken in the next four to six hours give him another. You will have to help him get it down. Keep him hydrated. Also, don't tell him I was the one who gave him medicine." With that I reached for Sam. Julie gave him to me, but she looked sad to let him go. She reminds me of someone... I left the three of them inside the tent. I trust they can follow my instructions. I know I should have done it myself, but... I sit down just outside the tent. Watch the others go about their work, eyeing me as they pass.
Today...
 Long hours passed. Finally, I heard Julie greet Mike as he woke up. I heard my name mentioned and I forced myself to go inside. I tried to greet him. He stopped me, telling me he's sick. Asked a few security questions. Understandable, times aren't what they once were. He made it clear he wanted both Julie and me to leave. A few minutes later Mike came out, another man ran up to him, reported that there were approaching male strangers. We packed up camp in a hurry. Mike asked if I could be useful. I told him, "We'll see." Truthfully, I am a deadly accurate knife thrower, but don't want to give away my skill set yet.  Mike asked me to relay his signals to the rest of the group. I can follow instructions with the best of them, but I thought he wasn't being cautious enough. I was right. They ended up attacking us. Mike and another guy took them out. But I was angry. Angry that Mike was naive enough to turn his back on strangers and led the group into danger. I asked him, "What was that?!" I wanted to know what the heck he had been thinking. I think my meaning was misinterpreted because the other guy responded, "That's how we do things around here if there's someone threatening our friends." Julie said I'd get used to it. I am used to it. I wasn't talking about how we barely managed to survive a gun fight that by all rights we should have lost, putting our back to them like that. I was talking about the poor leadership skills that put us in the situation to begin with. I will keep my mouth shut for the time being. I understand that Mike is ill, I believe this maybe effecting his ability to lead. Should I leave now, if this is how the group is managed? I will not allow Sam to die because of someone else's poor choices. I was standing still in these thoughts when Mike yelled back at me, "You stay with us, you survive. You stay still you're dead." I found this almost humorous as he was the one that had almost gotten me killed to begin with. Also, they don't know that I have survived on my own this whole time. I am more than capable. Mike was unable to go on after this confrontation. He had us make camp where we are.  I think there is more going on with his illness that he has let on. I noticed while I was walking behind him earlier a darkened spot on his sling. If he was bitten or scratched by a zombie he would already be exhibiting signs. I had been pacing back and forth in thought. I looked up to see Mike asleep with a book open on his lap. No one was watching. Made my way over, leaned over him, read over his shoulder the last paragraph he had written before passing out. So, I thought there was more to his illness. Why would he be hiding it? There must be more to it than not wanting the others to worry. He will die if it isn't treated soon. So, maybe he wants to die? I don't know. I have the ability to remove the bullet from his shoulder, if it hasn't shattered. But should I? What I do know is that information is power. I must be careful how I handle the situation.