Jack's Diary - Bloody Memories - Day 66

            I searched all night and there was no sign of Mike; just broken in windows and doors and bloody, dirty objects around me. The soulless wandered the streets like ants searching for food, hoping to come across some smell or sound. I couldn’t believe I managed to search an entire town from top to bottom in darkness. It was during that search that I realized an important question: why did I come out here in the first place (I didn’t forget about Mike; I’m just questioning the reasoning)? Don’t get me wrong, I care about Mike and everyone else, but I remember writing before we went on that last mission that it would be the last time I watch over Mike. Right now, I should be trying to gather explosives or find as much information as I can about making C4 or dynamite (or something else that explodes). Instead, I’m wandering around aimlessly looking for Mike when he may not even be in trouble or alone for that matter (Julie’s probably with him. It’s good to travel with others). For now on, Mike’s going to have to take care of himself. I certainly can’t be spending my time looking over him like he was a child or treating him like one.

            Still, I’d be lying if I said the search was a waste of time: a few of the places I searched were a chemistry lab, a hospital, a library, a police station, and a gag toy store. I now have plenty of chemicals, beakers, tubes, medical tools, books, toys, and a police club (the guns in the police station had already been taken). The soulless weren’t too big of a hassle. Whenever one got too close, I pulled out my machete and stuck it up through their chins, piercing their brain. I wasn’t able to break through the top of the skull from the inside, as much as I wanted to. Only a few took a running charge at me for no reason, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. A kick, a stab, a shove, a stab, and another stab and the danger passed.

            I had already searched one entire town without finding Mike so when morning came; I headed out to find another. The road to the next town had a car accident occur on it awhile ago; a three car pileup with a rotting skeleton hanging out the window of the unlucky driver whose car was on the bottom. The panic when this all took place was just as horrifying as our resulting present. People were trampled to death running from the charging soulless, boarding up the doors and windows of their homes until either the soulless broke in or they broke out looking for food. So much fear, so much betrayal, and indifference for a fellow man it makes me ill just thinking about it. We could’ve been much better off had we stood together, but when times get tough, they run. Humans back then always ran away from what they feared or dreaded whether it be pain, work, or relationships. We are different now; we’re no longer innocent. The innocent died long ago.

            I could see the town or city (I can’t always tell the difference anymore) from the road leading in, I realized it was the same town that Jane had died in. Just as people never forget a face, I don’t forget, period, especially not with something like this. Although I doubted that Mike would come here, he did once so I figured he might have again. Walking down the street, the memories of times passed rushed back to me. It feels like years when it has only been a month or so. I saw the street where the hunters held us at gunpoint, proclaiming we’d get a trial before being killed. There was a black mark on the street from where I threw the flash grenade. I had planned to search for supplies, but I was just lost in memories; horrible memories, but memories all the same. The town or city had very few soulless, but a lot of half eaten, rotting corpses (the hunters that were killed during that long fight no doubt). I wanted to find more memories. I had to look down eight alleyways before I found the one where Matt had sacrificed himself for me. It was definitely the right one; a dead corpses, almost completely eaten, laid flat on the ground with a few men about 15 feet away with broken flashlights. As much as I wanted to bury the body, it would be just too much work to go through. I looked around and found an old painter’s tarp to lay over him. He still had his gun with him so I took it (he won’t be needing it in the afterlife). The trail of memories dissipated as a thunderous sound of feet slamming against the pavement came my way. In the entrance to one of the alleyways appeared 6 soulless who charged at me, taking no time to survey their surrounds. In an instant, I tossed a trashcan at them, knocking most of them down. Systematically, I took each of them down one by one while knocking or pushing the others still alive away. It was quick, but so was the follow up group of soulless, probably drawn by the trashcan I tossed. While I attempted the same strategy again, another group of soulless entered from the other side as well. Upon realizing this, I shoved my way passed the first group and ran out of the alley. In the distance, I saw a one-floor building with a low roof, low enough for me to climb up. Usually, I’m faster than most soulless, but all the supplies I had were weighing me down to the point where I was barely leading them (I’d drop them if I had to). Even with this handicap, I made it to the building and watched as the soulless clawed at the roof like a bunch of fish swimming to the surface, expecting to be fed. I emptied my handgun clip into them and watched as they twitched a little before ceasing to live. I hopped down and headed back to the alley; I wasn’t finished paying my respects (or seeing if he had anything else useful). The only things I could find on him was a few extra clips, a very nice pocketknife, his wallet, and a little cassette tape. (I know going through someone’s stuff is an invasion of privacy, but he’s dead and he didn’t seem to mind). Inside the wallet was some cash, his ID card (both useless now), some pictures, and a small lock picking kit. I put the wallet back while keeping the kit. I wasn’t sure what to do with the cassette tape, considering I hadn’t seen or used one since I was a kid. Still, I thought it may have something interesting on it so I decided to keep it. (Perhaps I can stop at a Radioshack and see if any cassette players are in stock).

            As I left the alley, I saw a few men walking down the street looking into windows and down alleyways. It appeared as if they were looking for something. I thought perhaps they heard the gunshots and are looking to kill me for my supplies. I didn’t want to find out. I left through the other alley entrance and snuck quietly through the rest of the city without finding Mike. Before leaving, I stopped at the spot where Jane and Duke had “died”. All I found were shreds of clothing and a stain of blood on the concrete. There were no bodies, meaning they turned. I wanted to kill them, or end their suffering (more so Jane. She’s deserves to rest), but I couldn’t find the bodies. I even stayed an extra hour looking at every soulless I passed. It’s possible that they left the city to find, like any animal does when the area is devoid of it.

            I left the city after my search brought no familiar soulless. It was already dark and I wanted to rest so I climbed up a tree and wedged myself in between some branches and began writing. I wasn’t hungry, thirsty, or tired; I just wanted to rest. There’s just too much happening. Too many things on my mind that I try to distract myself with the present or the distant past, but it doesn’t make it go away. Somehow, I don’t expect sleep to be in my schedule for quite some time.

- Jack's Diary