Jack's Diary - Day 43

     We stopped at the Valor's base and they held true to their deal of giving us half of the supplies though I still think that something was sketchy, especially when they handed Mike a piece of paper to deliver. If this message is as important as it appears, why are they trusting strangers to deliver it when there are much easier ways of communication still available? Anyway, we continued on our way and we have been on the road for about a day and we stopped at a gas station. For about four hours, I was standing guard (technically, I was sitting, but you get the point). The gas station had a few objects for sale, among the assortment being lighters, a few batteries, super glue, little toy trinkets you'd find in a fast food restaurant, various fluids meant for vehicles, and cans of shaving creme. I decided to grab and experiment with them in my spare time, but I always kept as eye on the outside (I've worked with chemicals and combining things long enough to be able to do it without looking directly at my hands). With the plastic casings lying about on the ground and other spare items, I began making bombs: smoke bombs, exploding bombs, and flash bombs (the same process for the flash bomb as before except I glued flint near the flame opening). I felt like a little kid playing with toys. I also made a brand new spear with a knife and the handle of a mop in the closet.
     As I stared off into the far distance, I could see a few stray soulless walking aimlessly about so they were no real threat. However, I thought I saw something moving in the nearby bushes across the road. As I continued to stare, I thought I saw a human head poke above the leaves. If it was a soulless, I highly doubt that it would've stayed in one place for so long. Besides, the head didn't look rotted. There wasn't a whole lot I could do. If I opened fire on the bush, it would attract soulless and if I went outside to investigate, I would be leaving my post and putting the others at risk, not to mentioned the fact that the hiding person would have the advantage; they see me and I don't see them. So, I waited out my time for guard duty and then when Vector came, I told him not to touch the weapons I made. I didn't tell him about the person in the bushes because it might have prompted him to go outside and confront the person. I also wasn't entirely sure it wasn't an animal and it was getting darker, making it more dangerous to be outside. Looking back, I should've take the chance and went outside to confront my enemy.
     I woke up in the morning with the others. We packed up our equipment and we were just about ready to take it outside when Vector came running in.
     "Our back tires are flat!" he said.
     We followed him out and he was correct. I took a closer look at them and they were more than just flat; they'd been slashed. While I was looking at them, Mike tapped me on the shoulder very calmly and nonchalantly type manner.
     "There's some movement in the bushes," he said quietly.
     I quietly got up as if I was done inspecting the tires while sneakily motioning for the others to go back inside. We both readied our guns and walked toward the bush. I saw the barrel of a gun just barely stick out from the bush and quickly fired with Mike doing the same. I jumped into the brush on the other side of the road about 10 feet away and I cautiously made my way to where the bush dweller would be. Mike grabbed a rifle off the back of the pickup truck and readied himself. When I reached the spot, I saw a small splatter of blood on the ground, but that was it. Suddenly, I heard something brush up against the shrubbery behind me and I quickly spun around and caught the knife wielding arm of a woman, just before the knife pierced me. She was about my height and had long blonde hair and an angry look on her face. I didn't know who she was, but she looked familiar. She was definitely the one we shot a few second ago because he left shoulder was bloody. She still tried to overpower and stab me, but I kicked her right left, punched her in the face, and then repeatedly swung her arm down until she dropped the knife. I then threw her into the street. She quickly drew a handgun she had hidden in the back of her belt, but Mike shot her in the lower back and she fell, dropping the gun. The shot didn't seem to stop her though and she crawled toward the gun. I kicked it away and pushed her back to the ground and sat on her.
     "Get off me reaper!" she yelled. She continued to groan and struggle.
     She wasn't holding still so I thought of a better idea. I asked Mike if he could go inside and bring me the spear I made. As he went inside, I pulled back the bottom part of her shirt and I found a bullet proof vest as I suspected. It explained why she was so lively.
     "Who are you?" I asked.
     Mike had just come back with the spear.
     "A member of the outpost you destroyed!"
     "The one back in Saint Angeles?"
     "What? Don't you remember all the bloodshed you caused or was my base just one of the few?!"
     I dragged her by her hair off the street as she kicked and scream. When her body was on the grass, I laid her down, sat on her again and shoved one of my longest knives through her left hand to pin it down and then shoved the spear through her right hand. I then hammered them in tight using a nearby rock. Her screams of pain rivaled those I heard from Jane the last time I saw her. Mike just stood there speechless watching everything transpire.
     "I usually don't take pleasure in torture, but I suggest you answer my questions or I might get carried away."
     "I owe the likes of you nothing reaper!"
     I slapped her.
     "Why do you keep calling me reaper?"
     "Because that's what you are! A bringer of death." She looked over at Mike, examining his confused look, "Oh, don't you know? He's responsible for the death of nearly 100 innocent people."
     "Now that's a bit of a stretch. Any person I murdered tried to kill me at one point so you can't call them innocent."
     "Not my friends back at my outpost you hid at. Not the leader of our outpost. They all attacked the people who were coming for you and anyone who didn't escape was either shot to death or eaten by the infected. And how do you repay us? By sneaking out the back like a filthy rat!"
     "That was not my fault!"
     "Yes it was. You brought them to our doorstep and whether or not they had a good reason to kill you, my friends, my brothers and sisters in arms died because of it. And let's not forget all of the people you killed when we captured you and your friends."
     "What? You expected me just to let you kill us? I definitely wasn't going to allow my friends to die."
     "It didn't matter in the end, now did it? Since they're dead now."
     At that sentence, I kicked her in the side multiple times. I thought I could hear the knife ripping through the flesh in her hand as every kicked pulled on her arm.
     "Jack, that's enough!"
     I stopped. The woman looked at Mike again, "You're all going to die you know. All of you."
     "What was the point of all of this? Why didn't you shoot me last night when you had the chance? Why'd you slash the tires?" I asked.
     "For the tires, I thought I'd speed the progress up for you. No need for them to suffer living through the abstract notion of hope with you around! And as for killing you, I wanted to stab you with my knife."
     "I've been stabbed before; it doesn't always guarantee death."
     "I wasn't trying to kill you! I coated that knife in the blood of an infected!"
     "You were trying to turn me?!"
     "Death is too good for you!"
      I turned to Mike who had a very uncertain look on his face.
     "I guess we''l have to look for some new tires and a jack or a new vehicle all together."
     "Yah..." His expression didn't really change.
     "Could you give me a minute with her? I need to finish things," I stated.
     He turned and walked back inside.
     "I was considering killing you quickly and painlessly, but I've changed my mind. I'm not going to leave you to become another empty soul wandering the Earth."
     I took out another knife and grabbed the rock. She looked back at me with determination, but I could see fear. I looked her in the eyes.
     "I suppose I am a bringer of death."
     I put the knife to the back of her skull and began hammering the knife the knife in. She screamed in horrible terror and pain realizing what I was doing. Her screams soon turned into a gagging sound and then she became silent. I took out the knives and wiped them off on her shirt. I then ripped off the bottom of her shirt and laid it over her head so the others wouldn't have to see it. I stayed outside. I noticed that Mike didn't look me in the eye, but insisted on getting to work on finding some way to get back on the road. I guess I should've expected it. He knew nothing of my past and perhaps if I broke this to him before that woman put her own moral spin on it, hints would've been different.
     I regret killing the woman the way I did. Her screams still echo in the chasms of my mind, mixing with Jane's. I don't know what has become of me. At the time, I did this without giving much of a second thought. I could have easily cut her spinal cord and it would have ended in a second. I feel nulled of the compassion I once had, but I don't feel lonely. I don't know if she was right, but I can't ignore the pattern; everyone around me ends up dying. Then again, we all must at some point. Perhaps I'm overdo.

- Jack's Diary