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Monday, December 30, 2013

Mike's Diary - day 50 "Old Childish Group Leader"

Life, life, life. It is indeed the most beautiful, yet tragic thing. It's hard to live without something to fight for, but now I guess I have people on my side who support me, but Lexi... 
    That is all I've been thinking since last night. I heard Jack said good night to me, I didn't say anything, yet I smiled without him realizing, I just can't believe how much I was needed by others. He went into his tent to sleep while I thought in my head If I die, let it be now. I then fell asleep outside for a couple hours then woke up to a scream,
     "FUCKKKK! HELP ME!"
It came from the little girl's tent. I rushed inside her tent and saw a craze on top of her body trying together a piece of her. Then, that instinct, to protect her just came to me. I pulled the craze out of the tent and hit its head with my crowbar several times to make sure that it's dead. I was breathing heavily, and came back to her.
     "Thanks."
     "mhmmm... no sweat." I was hesitated to respond, but I didn't want to be rude. Jack came, then the others.
     "You gu--" Jack was about to ask me, but I cut his words by pointing at the little girl, and whispered,
     "I'm okay. Get the little girl."
     "Name is FUCKING JULIE by the way! And I'm fine thank you very much!" Said the little girl. I ignored it (so obvious). I went back outside on the top of the trunk, drink some water, adjust watch the landscape, feel the breeze of the wind, and the smell of wild weed. Again, I just can't keep Lexi out of my damn mind.
     "What's our next step?" Jack asked
     "Deliver the package." I said
     "I'm a person old man!"
     "Either you shutup or you don't call me that."
     "Man fuck you too."
     "Shut it you both, or I'm gonna put you on these car for the whole trip and the others including me in the trunk." Jack said. I gave Jack the "You fucking kidding me" look while she did the same to Jack.
     "NO!" Julie and I said it at the same time.
     "Mike you're ffucking 24 years old, stop acting like that, you guys make the perfect siblings." Jack said, I didn't respond, especially when he knows what happened to Lexi, he really shouldn't have said that.
     "Pack up! We're going." I said
     "You're driving, Julie! Take the passenger seat." Jack said, fuck this I thought. We packed up and I drove the car. Julie and I didn't talk, yet didn't bother to attempt a conversation.
     "Sorry, you lost her." She said
     "Who." I said, then she had that were look, and didn't say anything else. It's not that I don't like Julie, I do. I just don't want accept the fact that she has to go with th vapors later on (once I'm attached to her like I was to Lexi, there's no turning back). No one has noticed this however, but I think Jack might be able to tell myfeeling, since he's pretty experienced in life. I just kept driving the truck, avoiding several craze, humm some songs, and all that boring stuff. Until the truck ran out of gas. Oh how great I thought, thank God we're in a city now, many cars, buildings, houses, stores, perhaps we can loot some good stuff.
     "You actually don't mind Julie to be with don't you?" Jack said (how surprising.) I didn't answer that of course, and continue unpacking. We set up the tent in the middle of the road. Julie went by herself into a store to gather some stuff, while we were busy looking for her. I saw her came back with some painkillers, I right away yelled at her,
     "What do you think you're doing? It's dangerous to go alone. You don't do stuff like that unless I say so understand?"
     "But?!"
     "Do you understand!!"
     "Yes. Old man."
     "D-dd-don't call me that. Argh..." while I point my finger at her.
Jack and the others just chuckled, I don't see why it's funny. After that incident, Jack whispered to me,
     "See, you care."
Again, I didn't't answer. I went back to the truck to keep a look out, while the others were in a circle chatting. I don't gather with te group that much anymore so I wouldn't know what they are chatting about, or secrets that they're not telling me. Oh well, I've changed. I don't know why, I'm mourning, yet I am happy with the group safe for now. Now, I'm just that childish old group leader who cares about others but don't wanna show it. I'm falling asleep, Julie was chatting with Jack about something, then to Jess, then back to Jack... oh my... why the hell do I care so fucking much, then I fell asleep as the group was still chatting.
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