Jack's Diary - Day 46

     Stupid barbarians got the better of me. After we entered a new town and searched for a while (finding nothing), we were approached by what appeared to be members of a circus, wearing red shirts and blue pants. Their smug demeanor and their lustful eyes tipped me off as well as it did to the others. I wasn't expecting the gun fight to come so soon since I thought they intended to take us alive. I was instantly shot in the leg and didn't get a chance to shoot back. The others made a run for it, but Mike came back to help me out of the situation. We went into a nearby school and he took care of the wound. I don't know what it is about sudden incidents of pain that make you forget your problems because last nights concerned were forgotten and I fell asleep shortly afterwards.
     It was during this time that I had a dream. I don't dream very much or at least I didn't up until this point. I also didn't know I was dreaming until I'd woken up. I dreamt I was in the same situation with the men who had shot me. When they open fire this time, I dodged the bullet that had struck me before and the five of us killed them all. However, when I turned back, Mike and the rest were gone. It seemed weird and concerning at the time, but nothing I couldn't handle. I then searched around and in all the building we'd visited, but I found nothing, not even stray soulless wandering about. As the hours passed and about the time the sky should have begun to darken, the sky slowly turned green, casting an eerie green shadow on the town. My sight became blurred as the green shadows became darker and darker until the sky was black and I could barely see two feet in front of me. It all seemed strange when I dreamed it, but not impossible. Finally, I saw lights in the distance moving toward me, so bright that my vision seemed no longer limited. I thought for sure it had to be something good, at least better then staying in uncertainty. I approached the lights to find they were people on fire. They walked just like soulless, but they looked clean and completely human. I backed away to find that more were approaching from behind, from the sides of buildings, from every direction. I'd been cornered and they began to surround me. In their faces, I saw what felt like something familiar. It wasn't until I started shooting that I recognized the faces: they were all people I'd met, dead and alive. I tried to open up a path by focusing in one direction and even throwing the grenades I made to clear a path, but they were determined to keep me trapped. Just when I ran out of bullets and bombs, I drew knives and threw them. And that's when I woke up. When my eyes opened, I saw Mike across from me leaning nervously to right of a knife stuck in the wall. It seems that even in your sleep, you can throw knives with partial accuracy.
     "What the hell?!" Mike yelled at me.
     "Sorry. Reflexes mixed with dream throwing." I looked around the room we were in, "Where are the others?"
     "I told them to wait for us at the blue roofed dorm. I had to go back for you."
     I got up and started gathering my equipment. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. So I guess we're going to go meet up with them?"
     "Yah. Hopefully they're still there."
     "Alright." I started taking guns and other pieces of equipment out of the bag and attaching them to myself, "You lead the way. Once we find them though, I'll be leaving to do something."
     "To do what?"
     "To kill the people who attacked us."
     There was a pause.
     "Jack, we have to deliver the package. Besides, there's no telling how many of them there are."
     "There's no time limit on that package delivery and you've seen for yourself that I've taken on a great number of people before while injured and I still came out on top."
     "But what's the point in going after them? They don't have anything we want."
     I turned around to face him, "The point is that we're probably not the first to be attacked and we won't be the last. You saw the smug contempt they had for us. They were like some hounds staring at hanging meat in the window of a butcher shop. Anyone of us could've been killed in that gunfight: you, me, Lexi. And who's to say we won't get into another fight with them if we try to leave?"
     "It sounds like you want to kill them all. What if they're not all as bad as the ones we met? Would you really kill them all then?"
     "I didn't think twice about doing it when you got captured....... but you are right. I intend to find out who these people are. We're not safe with them around. We'll talk more once we find the others."
     "Alright," he answered.
     We exited the room and walked down the hall towards the exit when a nagging thought came to mind.
     "How did the others know to go to the blue roofed dorm?" I asked.
     "I told them to."
     "When?"
     "During the gunfight, just before I went back for you."
     "Exactly, how loud did you say it?"
     Mike looked over at me strangely. Within a few seconds, he realized what I was alluding to.
     "Shit!" he said as he bolted down the hallway. I tried my best to keep up with him, but I struggled to stay on pace with him. He exited and I followed, up one street and down another alley, all the time looking out for movement around us. It was already getting dark, much like my dream. Mike frequently had to pause for me so I could catch up. I'd never seen him run so fast. Within a few minutes, I could see a blue roof and a group of men standing outside. We hid behind one of the buildings, still far away from them. I was just about ready to chuck a grenade at them when I saw they were bringing two people out of the dorm by force.
     "Damn it," Mike whispered.
     I squinted and I could see they had Lexi and Jess.
     "Still think not all of them are bad?" I whispered, "What'd you want to do now?"
     Mike paused for a moment, considering the options. There were at least 8 people in red and blue (even at night they were easy to spot).
     "Why take them and where's Victor?" he asked.
     "I don't think you're going to like the answer to either of those questions," I answered.
     Lexi was still kicking and struggling when one of the men punched her in the stomach. Mike lunged forward and fired a shot, hitting one of the guys facing away from us in the back. The men began shooting toward us. I quickly drew my rifle while Mike ran across the street and hid behind a nearby building, and began shooting. I shot three men in the abdomen and back and I managed to strike one of the men holding Jess in the leg. He let go of her and she hid inside the building. I think Mike shot two of them, three if you count the first shot. The remaining men tried to drag Lexi to cover, but she continued to struggle even more (bite, kicking) so they threw her down and ran away. Mike followed after them. I ran toward the blue roofed dorm while Lexi stood up and ran into the building. I passed by the men still barely alive bleeding out. Making sure not to startle Lexi or Jess, I called out and made my presence known. I entered to find Victor bloody and bruised on the floor. He was still alive, but in bad shape. There were two dead men on the ground as well. Jess and Lexi were trying to help Victor by wrapping up his wounds.
     I went outside to greet the nearly dead. One was holding a gun and attempting to reload it when I shot him. Another looked like a prime subject to extract information from. I knelt down and held a knife to his throat.
     "I'll give you the option. Tell me where your base is and I'll let you die."
     He looked at me and laughed.
     "Is that suppose to be a threat?" I said.
     I stuck the knife under the skin of his arm, moving it back and forth, as he squealed in pain. I then ripped the piece of flesh I'd just loosed off as he tried to stop me. He was already weak so his struggles were in vain.
     "Yes, it is because I will torture you and keep you alive until you have what I want. From now on, you will be my prisoner and if you don't cooperate now, I ensure you, by the end of it, you will be begging me to let you die."
     I saw a spark of fear in his eyes. He knew I was serious and I was serious. He spilled the information I wanted along with his own blood. He told me why they attacked us (for food, supplies, and for the females) and his only defense was "Only the strongest survive". It would seem they all share this moto. I also was told the location of their base and just in case he's lying, I continued to torture him, telling him I knew he was lying. The answer still didn't change after all that time so I killed him. Jess and Lexi were so busy were Victor, they didn't notice my torture session. Afterward, I told them we needed to go to another building now before they came back, but I didn't want a similar situation to happen again so I waited for Mike. While we waited, soulless began showing up due to all the noise so I quietly took care of them (there weren't too many for some reason). When he returned, he led us to a building he saw while we were searching for supplies. Now, everyone is resting. I don't know what Mike plans to do now, but I know what I'm doing when the sun comes up, with or without Mike and the others.

- Jack's Diary

Read More

Jack's Diary - Day 35, October 21th 2013

     After about a day in darkness, my sight finally returned enough for me to leave my hiding place. Distant objects were still kind of blurry, but I didn't need to see exact details; only detecting movement was necessary and was within my capabilities. I went by the rule that if something charged or shot at me, I shot back. I was also still sore from being beaten up before and from staying in one place for so long, so my body wasn't in a good condition. All I had for a firearm though was the handgun I took from one of the men. Looking back, perhaps I should've just stayed in there for another day.

     Upon exiting the building, the sunlight taunted my eyes and in the distances, I saw two figures walking in my direction. I waved and called out to them, hoping they were my friends, only to have them start shooting at me. They missed all their shots being so far away. They were moving to the right to hide behind a building or to get away when I fired two shots, striking one of them down. The other ran behind the building as I approached. I only had a few rounds left in my gun so I needed more ammo so I had to risk facing them in my condition. The one laying on the ground was squirming, but I couldn't make out what he was doing and I didn't want to waste ammunition on another long range shot. As I got closer, the situation became clear and I shot him just as he had cocked his reloaded handgun. His friend jumped out from behind the building, landing on some glass and alerting me to his presence. I shot him just as he fired off a round. I don't know where the bullet went, but I could swear that I felt a small breeze go by my head. I was blessed with luck I suppose. I could have easily been killed. The men had plenty of ammo to go with their rifles and handguns along with a thick club. Up close, I could see their faces, but I didn't recognize them from the trial. Then again, I never did get to see everyone. Anyways, I quickly took their gear and left before anyone or anything else showed up.

     I walked around the city, never staying in the same place for very long, encountering men (some of which I recognized) and soulless (including a few of the strange and strong looking ones I'd seen before). Nothing that confronted me survived and as the death count grew, I got back more of my original gear (which I guessed had been split among the men). I even felt a thrill again from killing so much. It was so overwhelming and exhilarating, I thought that I might go on another rampage again, but I stopped myself, knowing full well who might end up being my victims.

     As the day dragged on, my sight sluggishly got better, but not enough to decipher faces from far away. When I heard my name called out from the alleyway, I instinctively shot in that direction only to find out it was Tim.

     "Wait! Jack! It's me, Tim!" he shouted.

     "I put away my guns and went to him, "Sorry about that. I didn't see you. Do you know where the others are?" I asked.

     "No. I hoped you knew."

     "You don't even know where Jane is? Seriously? You two stayed next to each other for everything else except now!"

     "She ran off! What'd you want me to say? That stunt you pulled may have let us escape, but how were we suppose to stay together when we couldn't even see who was a friend or enemy? I've been hiding and searching at every opportunity."

     "Whatever. Do you have guns?" I asked.

     "Yah. Right here. What? Are you blind now?"

     "No, but my vision hasn't been the same since that flash. I'm going to need you to be my lookout. Alright?"

     I handed him a few of my guns. "Fine," he said with unenthusiastic tone. With Tim by my side, we started searching the buildings and shooting up the city. I didn't have to worry about shooting Jane or Duke. I just waited for Tim to start shooting to take aim. We searched what seemed like thirty buildings. I was starving at this point, but I didn't care. Finding Jane was my main priority, but I definitely wouldn't leave the city until I found Duke or was sure he left or was dead. It started to get darker and our haste quickened. It was almost night when I heard an electrical buzz, like the sound a walkie-talkie would make. Tim said he saw something run down the alleyway. I knew from the moment that we stepped foot into the alley that we should've just kept walking by. I knew even before Tim saw something move, but I didn't say anything at all. I felt so weak, hungry, and sore, dismissing my instincts which I always listened to and stepped into sure death. I promise myself now that I will never let that happen.

     We were a fourth of the way down the alley when a group of men jumped out from behind anything and everything, pointing bright flashlights at us. It seemed almost instantaneous: the noise, the light, and the gunshots, yet somehow, Tim managed to jump in front of me begin shooting. Within three seconds, he collapsed backwards, knocking me to the ground. He probably died within the first two seconds. I could tell that he had gotten a few because I saw lights creating shadows on the walls beyond the men. As soon as the lights moved toward me, I draw my gun and shot into the lights, breaking the bulbs and hitting flesh. I don't know if I killed them all, but no one except for myself was left alive in that alley. I crawled out from under Tim's body. I knew he was dead already, but I still felt the urge to check. I picked up one of the flashlights and held it over his body. There must have been 50 bullet wounds. He was dead and a bloody mess and he took all of it to save me. He saw what was coming and jumped in front of me to sacrifice himself when he could have easily hid behind me and let me die. I don't know why he did it for someone like me when he had some much more to give to the world and to Jane. I'm crying now, but I wasn't before. I simply closed his eyes and folded his arms and left. It was all I could do. As I was about to exit the alley, I saw something heading toward my face fast and then nothing.

     I woke up on the ground somewhere else with all my weapons stolen. Night had passed and it was now approaching dawn. I was pretty sure someone had knocked me out cold. Why they didn't kill or shot me was another question, but all things become clear with time. I wandered the streets avoiding soulless, looking for weapons and just trying to get my bearings. It was then that I heard two gunshots. I knew it was long shot, but Iran toward where I heard them come from. They were pretty far away, but I was pretty good runner and I heard more of them. I was coming up to the main entrance when I saw Jane was red hair from far away.

     "Hey Jane!" I yelled. She waved back and I saw someone else with her. It was Duke. They were headed out of the city. I ran to them and we continued, with Jane's first words being, "I thought you were dead."

     It didn't occur to me that the situation was unnatural. Duke was shooting soulless left and right and Jane was following him. I'd never seen Duke shoot a gun before and it seemed strange that Jane and Duke were prepared to leave me and Tim here in the city and Jane didn't even ask about Tim so I decided to get some answers.

     "Jane, don't you want to know what happened to Tim?" I asked.

     "I know. He's dead," she said in a somber voice.

     "How did you know that?"

     "Duke told me," she said.

     "Quiet you two!" Duke shouted.

     "Hey, shut up! I'm talking and since when did you get a backbone?"

     Duke didn't respond. We just kept moving and he kept shooting.

     "So, you both were just planning on leaving me here to die?" I asked.

     "No. I was going to keep searching until Duke told me he saw you both get shot so he assumed you were dead."

     If Duke saw what happened, that means he was there and could have been helping us out. I was about to say something when Duke stopped and turned around. He pointed his handgun at me.

     "This is as far as you go, murder!"

     Jane chimed in, "Duke, what're you doing..."

     "Shut up or you'll be joining him!" he shouted at her. He never took his eyes off me and looked directly into my eyes, "So, Jack. How does it feel to be powerless? To have to rely on someone else who holds power in their hands. I've cowered behind you long enough!" he said with gusto.

     "What brought about the change in you?" I asked.

     "No change at all! Just an unveiling!"

     "Not really. You're still a pompous jerk."

     He was just pulling the trigger when Jane pushed his arm out of the way. He threw her against the wall and I was about to tackle him when he pointed the gun directly at my forehead. Jane got up, but he head had a large cut on it.

     "I've read all your journals entries. I find it ironic that you kill monsters being one yourself. You leave your friends behind and you expect me to place trust in you. If anything, you deserved to die long ago. Would you like to say anything before you join Tim?"

     "Just a question. Were you one of the men shooting at us in the alleyway?"

     Duke laughed, "No, but I did watch it. How heroic of Tim to save your life. I only wish they'd gotten you instead so I wouldn't have had to knock you out cold. I'd hope that you would've been eaten or turned, but this ending is much more satisfying."

     "You're still a coward," I told him, "You had your chance to kill me and you didn't take it. You hoped the gunmen would've finished me off when you could've done so yourself. You're afraid of murdering. What, is it below you? Maybe you..."

     "Shut up! I'll prove it to you."

     Duke pulled the trigger. Nothing came out. The round was empty. It was just then that I saw the cowardly look that had always been on his face come back over him. He didn't have any more ammunition. I punched him and helped Jane up only to realize that a group of soulless had cornered us. I began pulling out knives and throwing them, taking out a few, but the gathering was so dense that there was no chance to squeeze through them without being grabbed. There were no windows in the wall behind us. We were trapped. I took out my longest knife and began stabbing at random. I thought for sure that I would finally meet my end. Suddenly, I saw bottles heading toward us. Many of them crashed onto the giant grouping of soulless, setting them ablaze. Sadly, the soulless had come so close already that they had bitten Duke and Jane was partially set on fire and was pinned down by a group of soulless, being feasted on. I ran out of the only gap I could see and met the man who threw the bottles. I told him my name and I followed him. His name is Mike. He was on a loot run for medical supplies. I stood guard for him and alerted him when a large group of soulless (some of the soulless were probably from the same group that cornered me) headed straight for the pharmacy. Long story short, we ran away and now I'm back at his fortified camp. It's a lot more secure than The Hill's was though. He said he'd introduce me to everyone tomorrow, but really, I just don't feel well. I'm extremely tired right now but I can't sleep. I can never sleep. Whenever silence visits me, all I hear is the sound Jane screaming for help. Whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is Jane burning in fire and being picked apart like a turkey at Thanksgiving. I can see Tim's bloody body riddled with holes and I can Duke smirk as he held the gun to my head, claiming that I should have died long ago. Looking back, I'm pretty sure Duke was the one who was contacting the hunters by radio transmission since we did pick up a lot of stuff during the journey, some of which I didn't understand how it worked. Duke's death was his own fault, but Tim and Jane. Even with Duke's intervention, I still should've been able to save them and I should've seen Duke's true colors long ago. I should have killed him when I found him.

     I don't want to write anymore, but I can't stop. I need to chase the memories away. Duke's taunts echo in my mind, most prominent being, "you should've died long ago." He was a fool, but even a fool can see truth sometimes.

- Jack's Diary

Read More

Jack's Diary - Day 7, September 22th 2013

     Still in the gambling town. I had to find some new clothes today. The old ones were covered in blood and gore after I went on a killing rampage. It was very spur of the moment and almost instinctual to me. It occurs very rarely though. This is partly why I prefer being in the company of others since being among other people suppresses this feeling. Then again, people annoy me and right now, I can't stand the thought of losing someone else. In the middle of the killing spree, I am very reckless and enraged. However, before it takes place, I always take precautionary measures; this time, I made sure my face and eyes were protected since just one drop of blood on an eye or in the mouth could possibly turn you. 

     I took out two machetes and charged outside. Most of the soulless were very docile and weak, making it so much easier to kill them. I can't remember much of what I did. I black out often, getting caught up in my rage. There must have been a lot of them because both of my arms are aching now. It's only in viewing the aftermath that I learn what I did. After I changed clothes, I walked outside with a relative ease of mind since most if not all danger was gone. Whenever this happens, there are always specific pools of blood and bodies in the streets where I believe I stood in one spot as the soulless charged at me. The center of the circles are always the driest part. Doors were broken in that were fine upon my arrival. Any soulless in the building when I go on a rampage are the unluckiest of all because they always end up in more bloody pieces. In one of the building, I thought I found a few bodies that looked like uninfected humans: a man, a woman, and a child. The bodies were still relatively fresh. I have no remorse if their death was by my hands (which I believe it was), but I hope it was not. After living like I have for so long, the death of a stranger means nothing and the death of a friend means little, but it does linger in my mind, especially when you lose everything.

     Right now, I'm tired. The rampages always take a toll on me. I realized a while ago I could never return to living like the regular person I was before this hell began. I've changed far too much to hope for peace in my future. Killing is not a part of who I am, I am a part of killing. There's been blood on my hands far too many times for it to wash off. Perhaps if order is ever established again and I'm still alive, I'll become a soldier for the army; that way, I can still kill when I feel the urge to and not go to jail. People would praise and reward me for my service. Praising me for a service I took to kill; what a funny world. 

- Jack's Diary

Read More