Jack's Diary - Nothing Has Changed - Day 65

            Still haven’t slept. Then again, neither would you if you experienced that dream. It felt so real at the time and it still does. I tried not to wallow in it too much. It’s just disturbing to think that Ann could be some monster. What’s even worse is the thought that she could be watching me right now. It’s hard to let these kind of things go, but I decide to move on. If Ann comes back and kills me, then so be it and if I get the chance to kill her, I will.

            As the morning came, I was found myself looking out the window for Mike and working on the details for my plan. I never did write about it before since I wouldn’t have been able to get it done if I could only use one arm. I’m calling it operation NUKE. I realized something after the Valor’s base was destroyed about my purpose. I’ve been trying to protect people from death even though we all know that it is inevitable. Soulless, on the other hand, do not die naturally as far as I know. While we struggle to stay alive, they multiply with each person they turn and their appetite as a whole grows. The plan is simple at its center; I build or find a device that can make a sound loud enough to be heard for miles around to attract the soulless into one large area, preferably a field or a town. After a day or two when they have all gathered, we ignite the explosives that have placed all around the chosen area and all of the soulless get destroyed. This plan won’t kill all the soulless so it will have to be repeated a number of times in different areas, but it will kill a large number of them in only a few seconds and make travelling and scavenging a lot safer. I say “we” because I’m going to need help, mainly with finding, making, and placing the explosives. We’ll see what Mike thinks when he gets back… if he gets back. Whether or not he chooses to go along with the idea doesn’t matter. I’m carrying on with it even if I have to do it alone.

            By the time morning passed and the afternoon came, I was starting to get a little concerned. I’m not even going to speculate what could’ve happened to him because there are just too many possibilities (Mike could’ve been abducted by aliens for all I know). I decided to go out and find him. I equipped myself with guns, knives, grenades, and other assorted weapons and headed out. Outside my room, I saw that the base was in perfect order: no one screaming in terror, no bodies littering the ground, and no quick panicked movements. Everyone was calm. I didn’t stop to talk with anyone. Outside the base, it seemed calm. No bodies hanging from trees though there were a few soulless. Suddenly, I saw something emerge from behind a tree. As soon as the sun reflected off of it, I could tell it was a gun. I quickly ducked behind a tree as the sound of bullet rang out. I peeked out and was greeted by four men slowly moving closer to me. Whenever I leaned out from behind the tree to shoot, they shot as well, keeping me in one place. I decided to climb up the tree and since they didn’t see me, I managed to shoot and kill two of them. The last two nearly shot me and fell out of the tree. Suddenly, some shots were fired from the top of the base wall and killed the last two men. I looked up to find Moses at the lookout point with a sniper rifle. I’m still not sure what the men were hoping to accomplish or what they would have done had I not come out. However, the battle wasn’t over. Because of the gunfire, soulless were beginning to gather around the base entrance. I definitely didn’t want my dream to become a reality so I stayed around and quietly killed a great number of them before a few more men came out to assist. There were many more than I expected to show up and it took us several hours, but we killed them. Afterward, one of the men approached me.

            “So perhaps you can tell me. What was the gunfire for?” he asked.

            “Four men were hiding out here and fired at me when I came out.”

            “Is that so? Would you mind showing me one of the bodies of them?”

            I could only recall the location of one (there were a lot of soulless corpses on the ground). The guy looked at the man’s face.

            “I don’t recognize him,” he said. He called over the other guys so they could have a look. No one knew who he was.

            “If that’s the case,” the man said, “that means he doesn’t belong here and that means they knew where our base was. There’s probably more of them too.”

            The man suggested that everyone search the area around the base. It was already getting late so I just left without saying anything. Just before I was out of sight of the base, I found two dead men sitting against trees. Upon closer examination, their throats had been cut open to the point where it looked like a chunk of their throats muscles were missing. I guess a will animal got to them before I did, but the fact that they were both sitting in a relaxed position under a tree makes this idea unlikely. It was like they didn’t even see the attack coming. The only possibility that came to mind was Ann. I have no idea what she is capable of. You’d think from then on, I’d be more careful and aware, but it didn’t change a thing. If Ann was able to sneak out of the base, she could easily sneak back in so I was never safe. Besides, had she wanted to kill me, she could have many times.

            I reached the nearest town, figuring that is where Mike would go if he were gathering supplies, but it was already close to dark. I’m still searching though. I just decided to stop to write this in case the worst should happen. Sleep is for those who can afford to waste time or who can withstand their inner fears. I suppose I am neither of these.

- Jack's Diary

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Jack's Diary - Day 46

     Stupid barbarians got the better of me. After we entered a new town and searched for a while (finding nothing), we were approached by what appeared to be members of a circus, wearing red shirts and blue pants. Their smug demeanor and their lustful eyes tipped me off as well as it did to the others. I wasn't expecting the gun fight to come so soon since I thought they intended to take us alive. I was instantly shot in the leg and didn't get a chance to shoot back. The others made a run for it, but Mike came back to help me out of the situation. We went into a nearby school and he took care of the wound. I don't know what it is about sudden incidents of pain that make you forget your problems because last nights concerned were forgotten and I fell asleep shortly afterwards.
     It was during this time that I had a dream. I don't dream very much or at least I didn't up until this point. I also didn't know I was dreaming until I'd woken up. I dreamt I was in the same situation with the men who had shot me. When they open fire this time, I dodged the bullet that had struck me before and the five of us killed them all. However, when I turned back, Mike and the rest were gone. It seemed weird and concerning at the time, but nothing I couldn't handle. I then searched around and in all the building we'd visited, but I found nothing, not even stray soulless wandering about. As the hours passed and about the time the sky should have begun to darken, the sky slowly turned green, casting an eerie green shadow on the town. My sight became blurred as the green shadows became darker and darker until the sky was black and I could barely see two feet in front of me. It all seemed strange when I dreamed it, but not impossible. Finally, I saw lights in the distance moving toward me, so bright that my vision seemed no longer limited. I thought for sure it had to be something good, at least better then staying in uncertainty. I approached the lights to find they were people on fire. They walked just like soulless, but they looked clean and completely human. I backed away to find that more were approaching from behind, from the sides of buildings, from every direction. I'd been cornered and they began to surround me. In their faces, I saw what felt like something familiar. It wasn't until I started shooting that I recognized the faces: they were all people I'd met, dead and alive. I tried to open up a path by focusing in one direction and even throwing the grenades I made to clear a path, but they were determined to keep me trapped. Just when I ran out of bullets and bombs, I drew knives and threw them. And that's when I woke up. When my eyes opened, I saw Mike across from me leaning nervously to right of a knife stuck in the wall. It seems that even in your sleep, you can throw knives with partial accuracy.
     "What the hell?!" Mike yelled at me.
     "Sorry. Reflexes mixed with dream throwing." I looked around the room we were in, "Where are the others?"
     "I told them to wait for us at the blue roofed dorm. I had to go back for you."
     I got up and started gathering my equipment. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. So I guess we're going to go meet up with them?"
     "Yah. Hopefully they're still there."
     "Alright." I started taking guns and other pieces of equipment out of the bag and attaching them to myself, "You lead the way. Once we find them though, I'll be leaving to do something."
     "To do what?"
     "To kill the people who attacked us."
     There was a pause.
     "Jack, we have to deliver the package. Besides, there's no telling how many of them there are."
     "There's no time limit on that package delivery and you've seen for yourself that I've taken on a great number of people before while injured and I still came out on top."
     "But what's the point in going after them? They don't have anything we want."
     I turned around to face him, "The point is that we're probably not the first to be attacked and we won't be the last. You saw the smug contempt they had for us. They were like some hounds staring at hanging meat in the window of a butcher shop. Anyone of us could've been killed in that gunfight: you, me, Lexi. And who's to say we won't get into another fight with them if we try to leave?"
     "It sounds like you want to kill them all. What if they're not all as bad as the ones we met? Would you really kill them all then?"
     "I didn't think twice about doing it when you got captured....... but you are right. I intend to find out who these people are. We're not safe with them around. We'll talk more once we find the others."
     "Alright," he answered.
     We exited the room and walked down the hall towards the exit when a nagging thought came to mind.
     "How did the others know to go to the blue roofed dorm?" I asked.
     "I told them to."
     "When?"
     "During the gunfight, just before I went back for you."
     "Exactly, how loud did you say it?"
     Mike looked over at me strangely. Within a few seconds, he realized what I was alluding to.
     "Shit!" he said as he bolted down the hallway. I tried my best to keep up with him, but I struggled to stay on pace with him. He exited and I followed, up one street and down another alley, all the time looking out for movement around us. It was already getting dark, much like my dream. Mike frequently had to pause for me so I could catch up. I'd never seen him run so fast. Within a few minutes, I could see a blue roof and a group of men standing outside. We hid behind one of the buildings, still far away from them. I was just about ready to chuck a grenade at them when I saw they were bringing two people out of the dorm by force.
     "Damn it," Mike whispered.
     I squinted and I could see they had Lexi and Jess.
     "Still think not all of them are bad?" I whispered, "What'd you want to do now?"
     Mike paused for a moment, considering the options. There were at least 8 people in red and blue (even at night they were easy to spot).
     "Why take them and where's Victor?" he asked.
     "I don't think you're going to like the answer to either of those questions," I answered.
     Lexi was still kicking and struggling when one of the men punched her in the stomach. Mike lunged forward and fired a shot, hitting one of the guys facing away from us in the back. The men began shooting toward us. I quickly drew my rifle while Mike ran across the street and hid behind a nearby building, and began shooting. I shot three men in the abdomen and back and I managed to strike one of the men holding Jess in the leg. He let go of her and she hid inside the building. I think Mike shot two of them, three if you count the first shot. The remaining men tried to drag Lexi to cover, but she continued to struggle even more (bite, kicking) so they threw her down and ran away. Mike followed after them. I ran toward the blue roofed dorm while Lexi stood up and ran into the building. I passed by the men still barely alive bleeding out. Making sure not to startle Lexi or Jess, I called out and made my presence known. I entered to find Victor bloody and bruised on the floor. He was still alive, but in bad shape. There were two dead men on the ground as well. Jess and Lexi were trying to help Victor by wrapping up his wounds.
     I went outside to greet the nearly dead. One was holding a gun and attempting to reload it when I shot him. Another looked like a prime subject to extract information from. I knelt down and held a knife to his throat.
     "I'll give you the option. Tell me where your base is and I'll let you die."
     He looked at me and laughed.
     "Is that suppose to be a threat?" I said.
     I stuck the knife under the skin of his arm, moving it back and forth, as he squealed in pain. I then ripped the piece of flesh I'd just loosed off as he tried to stop me. He was already weak so his struggles were in vain.
     "Yes, it is because I will torture you and keep you alive until you have what I want. From now on, you will be my prisoner and if you don't cooperate now, I ensure you, by the end of it, you will be begging me to let you die."
     I saw a spark of fear in his eyes. He knew I was serious and I was serious. He spilled the information I wanted along with his own blood. He told me why they attacked us (for food, supplies, and for the females) and his only defense was "Only the strongest survive". It would seem they all share this moto. I also was told the location of their base and just in case he's lying, I continued to torture him, telling him I knew he was lying. The answer still didn't change after all that time so I killed him. Jess and Lexi were so busy were Victor, they didn't notice my torture session. Afterward, I told them we needed to go to another building now before they came back, but I didn't want a similar situation to happen again so I waited for Mike. While we waited, soulless began showing up due to all the noise so I quietly took care of them (there weren't too many for some reason). When he returned, he led us to a building he saw while we were searching for supplies. Now, everyone is resting. I don't know what Mike plans to do now, but I know what I'm doing when the sun comes up, with or without Mike and the others.

- Jack's Diary

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Jack's Diary - Day 39

     I wonder if soldiers ever miss the battlefield? I guessing they don't, but it seems they go through a lot of emotional stress coming back since things to them are different. Nothing may have changed at all, yet everything feels so new. This isn't a good thing. When you're at war, you're always looking over your shoulder, you react to the first sign of danger, you dream restlessly of the home so far away that moves on despite your absence. When your home again, you can't abandon those feelings and thoughts that ate away at your mind. All the time, you wished you were home yet you are never truly free of the war since it now takes place inside you. Would you want to go through life like this, trying to regain the peace of mind lost to you or would you just want to stay at war until you die, leaving the haunting memories to rot with your body. I never left this country to go to war, but this is a war, a nightmare to new comers and a normal everyone day scene for the suffering. I can't imagine settling down again, especially now.
     I decided to leave that night. I realized that if I left to find Mike in the morning, Lexi could stupidly leave the base looking for him too. Better that I find him before she wakes up, I thought. I didn't work out to well though. I searched the surrounding towns, peaking into windows, sneaking passed soulless and looking at their faces to see if they looked familiar, and looking for fresh dead bodies (expecting the worse) with no luck. The morning came which made it easier to see and made it easier for me to be seen. I really hoped Lexi wouldn't leave the base, but I didn't have much time to be concerned with that thought. I heard a sound of a handgun being fired and I instinctively jumped to the nearest cover being a small dry cleaner business. I heard more rounds being fired as I ran in. I hid behind the front desk and checked my guns to see if they were loaded. Instead of charging out the entrance I came from, I decided to go out the back door and climb on top of the building to get a better view. I saw about three people ducking behind an old car two buildings away. Although my shooting skills were great, I didn't want to take the gamble of missing them on the first shot and have them retaliate so I went back in the alley behind the building and made a complete circle around buildings and other tall structures to conceal my presence to catch the men by surprise. However, when I got to their location, they were gone. All I found in their place was soulless who I figured showed up as a result of their gunfire and drove them away. I knew that my search wouldn't be safe until I disposed of them so from then on, I searched for any living humans including anyone (or anything) that looked like Mike.
     About another hour into my search, I saw something move in the distance. By the way it moved, I knew it couldn't have been a soulless. Behind it came four more and in an instant, they all turned in my direction. I quickly drew my gun just before they did and managed to pick off one of the ones in the middle. However, one of their bullets pierced my shin. They quickly ran for cover behind the nearby buildings while returning fire, but I took out another one before he could find cover in time. I hobbled over to a store that had a sunk in entrance way. I knew that soulless would be arriving any minute and I was in no condition to run away. To make matters worse, more men came marching forward in the distance. It didn't seem like these guy were amateurs since they managed to hit me from a far distance and had enough brains to leave an area after shooting. I knew that they would begin retreating as soon as the soulless arrived, with me being killed by the soulless and acting as a distraction to ensure they weren't followed. With that thought in mind, I knew I had to press them, make them feel pressured and afraid of me. I stepped out of my hiding spot, shot the first person I saw, and hurriedly moved to the next nearest spot for cover. It hurt to walk or just trying to run for that matter, but it wasn't impossible. I only brought my handgun and a sawed-off shotgun with me so I didn't have a large assortment of weapons to choose from. However, the bag of supplies I took did have some smoke bombs. I'd save those for later. Two men approached my cover. I shot one in the chest and the other in the arm and thigh quickly. I left the last one alive to draw the soulless attention to him instead of me. They may have been better shots than I am used to, but they still weren't as good or fast as me. I then broke through the building I was using for cover and came out the back entrance. I could see soulless heading my direction. I peeked out at the men still left, only a small number in clear sight. I shot two before the other caught on and unleashed a fire storm of bullets in my direction with a few of the stray bullets taking out some nearby soulless. I looked back to find they were retreating. I followed, hoping to catch them off guard. In the distance, I could hear a man screaming in pain. The distraction worked.
     This game of bullet tag continued through nearly three city blocks. I killed three more of the men and managed to get a semi-automatic. Ironically, I was shot in my left shoulder just before picking it up so I couldn't hold it properly to shoot. The soulless followed behind us, feasting on the fallen men. It seemed there were only four or five left or at least there were until I heard an extremely loud and painful scream followed by multiple gunfire. I looked around the corner and saw a very large soulless stabbing one of the men with a large blade for an arm. It had an almost uniformly flat face; there were no identifiable eyes, ears, or nose. It looked like an Olympian. This was the first time I'd ever seen one this big.
     I only saw three bodies so at least one of them must have gotten away. Only two remained alive, one being extremely damaged, and the other was being held up by his neck by the large soulless. I could have saved him, but I chose not to. I watched as the soulless stabbed its blade through his abdomen and then, with his other hand, ripped him in half. He then went toward the last man alive intending to finish him off. I could've watched another killing, but the man was vulnerable right now, meaning I could get some answers from him as to why I was being shot at so I stepped in and shot the soulless in the head with the sawed-off. It didn't seem to phase it at all. I shot it in the head again and it knocked me to the side, intending to grab me, but the shot seemed to unbalance it. It now focused on me as I quickly stood up and reloaded the sawed-off. As intimidating as it was to see this thing survive two powerful shots to the face, I could think of this situation as a wall; with enough hits, it was bound to break. I continued to shoot for the face and it continued to grab or slash at me. After five shots, I was beginning to doubt my theory until it began charging at me, possibly due to enragement or maybe because it was nearing death (or it was getting bored). Either way, something changed which showed I was having an effect on it. Sadly, I ran out of shells for the shotgun and the handgun bullets didn't even seem to phase it. What's worse, more soulless showed up and I not only had to dodge them and the larger one, they already had begun eating the man I wanted to question, making this effort useless. I only had one idea left. I moved as fast as I could to the tallest building I could find and it pursued me. I went to the roof and once it came close enough to the ledge, ran eat it and rammed it over the side, almost taking me with it. Upon hearing the impact, I looked down and watched it for 10 minutes. It didn't move.
     I closed the door to the roof and sat down. I was safe. I thought about the fact that the large soulless didn't eat anything or anyone. It was only interested in killing. The behavior was so uncharacteristic and  almost disturbing to think about; a creature that only wishes to kill. Anyway, it was gone. A better question is why were those men attacking me? Perhaps Mike came across them and they got him. Right now, I didn't know what to think. So many things are running through my head; Mike, Lexi, that soulless, will I die? Through all of this, strangely enough, I felt at home.

- Jack's Diary

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