Jack's Diary - I Hope When Doubting - Day 60

            I was tired and kept falling asleep during the drive. My dreams replayed my murders before. After seeing these sights so many times, I no longer feel remorse or fear of them; now, when I wait I fear what I’ve become. I haven’t had a fit of murderous rage come over me for a while now, probably because I’m venting through my conscious actions. There’s too much about myself that I don’t understand, but I know I don’t want to be some life taker; there’s no reward or happy endings for such human beings.

            I can barely move my left arm now without it feeling like something was going to tear. I can out a piece of cloth from the bottom of my tent to make a mesh (I’ll deal with the hole later). My leg is feeling good. While I was in and out of consciousness, Ann took the bullet out of my leg and patched it up. I didn’t feel a thing. It seems she does have her uses after all (and how strange that she now suddenly remember now when others had worse injuries before). I’ m not going to debate this though. She did something good.

            We’ve gotten pretty far today, at least I think. My eyes weren’t open for most of it. With Mike, Victor, and I still recovering from injuries, the older kids took up the responsibility of guarding our camp. Mike took the guns off them and gave them melee weapons; understandable, no need to bring attention to ourselves (Also, night’s approaching and I wouldn’t want one of the kids stupidly shooting themselves in the foot). I could still do stuff and I felt fine. It was just my arm that worried me. It’s numb and ugly looking. I really hope it heals up (though I doubt it will ever be the same).

            Mike thanked me and said if it weren’t for me, all six of us would be dead. I can’t take credit for that since it was a group effort and we were lucky. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a team of six taking down an army (with the help of some kids). It’s a story you’d find in Greek mythology or the newest action movie… when they still made them. Had the Valors been smart, they would’ve put distance between us and them (that would be my reaction if someone was pointing a turret at me). They couldn’t bear to leave their home behind even when they knew it was doomed. I despised the Valors, but at the same time, I admired them in some respect. I wish my friends at the Hill ‘d done that. We had a better chance of winning and even if we were defeated, I would die happy, knowing we did our best. I should stop talking about the Hill; it’s gone though I can’t say the same for the memories; the same kinds of memories I hope to see again someday.

            Afterwards, Julie randomly hugged Mike, thanking him (it’s not like I did anything to help). He didn’t hug her back at first. He looked up at me, expecting an answer. I couldn’t see why not, so I thought it was weird that he’d look to me. As far as I’m concerned, with the Valor’s main base destroyed, Julie’s free to do what she pleases and we don’t have to push her away anymore. I left them alone since it was a nice moment between them. I actually a little concerned for Mike; he’s built his purpose around protecting and caring for someone and I’ve seen first hand what happens to him when the person dies. What’s going to happen WHEN Julie dies? (There’s no question since we all will die, but will it be after Mike’s dead?). It’s never good to build your life around something that will fade; that’s why it’s so hard to find meaning and purpose in life. Nearly everything falls to pieces eventually and once its gone, there’s no getting it back; we’re then left to find something else. I just hope he doesn’t let his memories of Lexi slip away. It’s not right to forget someone you once cared about.

            I’d said my purpose is looking after Mike and everyone else, but this isn’t enough. We’re all going to die some day and when we leave this world, it’ll still be a nightmare. I’ve come up with a plan to start wiping out the soulless population of the Earth and I’m going to need help. I decided I’d tell Mike once we got back to base (this also gives me more time to think the plan through).

            Ann came into my tent and sat beside me. There was a lot of activity going on outside and she chose to visit me; it was a nice gesture. I kept staring out the tent flap expecting to see a group of men charging at our camp. I can’t and don’t believe we killed all the Valors: would they let us go and move on? Residents from the other base I helped destroy hunted me for days. I don’t fear the Valors; I fear they will take me by surprise. I fear that my arm will never get better. I just don’t feel right. Let's just move on.

- Jack’s Diary

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Jack's Diary - Bloody War - Day 59

            I look back on history and wonder what a nation’s reaction was when they realized they started a war. In war, there are no winners and losers when it comes to sides; the winners are those who go home alive and the losers are the ones who die as a result of the war, a war begun with a conflict that didn’t start with them and a cause that was either noble enough to die for or urgent enough for the leaders to force them to die for it. I can go on and on about war and I haven’t been the first to say this. War is fruitless when we can compromise and debate the problem before us. Of course, when it’s a war between hundreds of armed men vs. six, one injured, one could say it’s not war, just a few lose ends to tie up… the exception is us.

            Right now, I’m driving down a dirt road, having just turned off the highway. Today, we brought Julie to the Valor’s base. It was just as intimidating up close as it was from a distance. The area around the base wall had a smaller wall of sandbags, the front of the bags being covered in barbed wire. There were machine guns mounted on the rooftop edges and (perhaps I’m imaging things) what appeared to be a rail gun or turret. There was also a tall fenced in area where many of the vehicles were stored. They were seriously armed and well defended though it did not look like a place for kids.

            At the gate, Mike announced that we had the package. Three guys let us in and were going to escort Julie inside when Mike asked to see some of the other kids as proof that their intentions were good (smart). They brought them out and not a single kid looked happy. I wanted to take them aside and ask them some questions, but the men seemed adamant that they get back inside the base as soon as Mike saw them. With as much as was wrong with this situation, reacting right now wouldn’t have been smart. We could sneak into the base later and find out what was really going on, but this wasn’t really necessary. As we were walking away, one of the guys whispered something under his breath that alluded to pedophilia. Before anyone else could say anything, Mike took out his Uzi and killed the three men (not smart). In that moment, Mike had started war and there was no time to apologize or debate over the issue. Mike told me to get a nearby black van hotwired (for someone who hasn’t hotwired that often, I think I did it in record time). We almost made it out of range from the base when they opened fire and hit Mike. I drove for nearly 10 minutes and no one seemed to follow us or at least they hadn’t caught up. Their vehicle set up within the fence wouldn’t allow them to just drive off on an impulse. Mike was bleeding profusely and was barely still awake. He wanted me to go to the last base we were at, which was suicide. I’m sure they knew very well what they were going to do with Julie. Besides, they wouldn’t hesitate to hand us over to save themselves. Also, I have no idea where to go. We didn’t travel by highway the last half of the trip and Mike was not in his right mind to be giving specific directions or orders for that matter. I turned down a dirt road leading off the highway. It was a one-way road surrounded by trees that led to an old house. I parked the van behind it, hitting a stray soulless in the process. I proceeded to get out and punch the back of the van over and over again. In this situation, I think I was entitled to a short temper tantrum: We’re in a war with an army of men and Mike’s seriously injured with no one around that can save him, but the same people who shot him. They no doubt have medical supplies and people who know how to use them inside that fortress. Jess opened up the van door and stepped.

            “Jack, stop it!” she said grabbing my arm before I could punch the van again. It had numerous dents, splashed with blood from my bloody knuckles. I pulled my arm away and started walking around the van.

            “This is the one of the worst outcomes that could’ve happened. I knew from the start that something was wrong with this job and that’s why I came along in the first place!”

            “We can’t be wasting time. We need to get Mike some help.”

            “Help? Where exactly are we going to find help?”

            “Mike said to go to the other base.”

            “I don’t know where that base. We didn’t take a direct route here, remember? And do you really think they’d help us. That they would even try if they found what Mike did?  We’d be better off throwing him to a pack of rabid wolves,” I said loudly. I was beginning to sound hysterical.

            “So what? Are you just going to give up?”

            “No! I just need some time to think!”

            Jess shut up for a minute or two until everyone else came out of the van.

            Victor spoke up next, “I know we’re not surgeons, but we could probably remove the bullet ourselves.”

            “That’s risky. He was shot in the abdomen. Some of his organs may have been ripped and punctured. Sewing up a wound on a limb is easy. Organs, however, require much more care, or else they’ll get infected and Mike would die.”

            Only one plan came to mind. It was completely nuts and risky, but at this point, we didn’t have much of a choice: we could either let Mike die and go home or try it.

            “I may have a plan. If it works, we may be able to save Mike and get some revenge, but I need to know whether or not you’re willing to put your life on the line.”

            Everyone agreed except for Brian.

            “Too bad Brian. You’re coming with us and if you even try and escape, I’ll kill you myself. If you do help us though, we’ll allow you to leave. Got it?”

            Brian grudgingly agreed. I took about 10 minutes to explain the plan before we drove off back toward the Valor’s base. I wrote a little message for Mike and gave it to Victor, telling him to make sure that when they drop him off that he has it with him. Jess was driving while Victor, Brian, and I had the windows rolled down ready to shoot. I expected that they’d try and come after us. What I didn’t expect was to find them behind us (They must have circled around after they passed the dirt road). There were three vehicles after us: a jeep, an SUV covered in armor and spikes, and a red mustang (nice car). The first gunshots took us by surprise. They pierced the back of the van, a bullet striking Ann in the leg. I had never shot from a moving vehicle so it took about three shots to hit the driver in the jeep. It went off the road, as did the SUV when Victor and Brian shot out the wheels. While we focused on the other vehicles, the mustang drove up beside our backend and the driver started slamming his car into the side of the van to make us crash. Just then, Jess swerved hard to the left to avoid to vehicles heading toward us in the opposite direction. The red mustang was run off the side of the road down a hillside trying to avoid collision. The last two wasted no time in turning around and pursuing us (late arrivals). Both vehicles were small armored cars and they were fast. There was at least a 100-yard gap between us when they had completely stopped and yet, they caught up in less than 10 seconds. We shot out the front tires, but it didn’t stop them. One car went on each side of us and rammed us back and forth like we were the ball in Pong. They were playing with us. I almost fell out when they did this. We fired at the glass with no success. These cars were bullet proof and powerful. Finally, I told Jess to slam on the breaks and hang on. When the van stopped I took out the Uzi Mike had used previously and tried to shoot out the back tires, though only hitting one on each car. The cars turned around and came back at us with near perfection in driving skills. Jess turned around and we ended in in the same situation as we were before; the cars using us for a game volleyball, only this time, they began shooting at us. I told the guys to use more powerful guns. Victor picked up a rifle while I decided to use a shotgun and surprisingly, it pierced the window shield and killed the driver, making the car slowed decelerate until starting scraping against the guard rail. Victor had similar success so we were safe for now. I told Jess to turn around so I could get the drive the other car. I thought it would come in handy and it did.

            I’ll reveal each part of the plan as I’m writing. Once we reached the base, we did some surveillance and, of course, there were guards outside this time. Just as I thought there would be. I drove the armored car up to the base and the guards, recognizing it as one of their vehicles, let me without even questioning me. (This was a lot better than my original plan, believe me). I unlocked the fence that led to the parking lot with the keys I acquired from the dead driver. There were men waiting for me at the entrance. I took Mike out of the back of the car and rushed over to the entrance (I covered his face dirt and blood so they might not recognize him).

            I handed them Mike, “Can you take him to get fixed up? He’s barely alive.”

            The guy checked his pulse and looked at his wounds. “Man, you’re not kidding! What the hell happened to him?”

            “We went after the guys who killed the three near the gate. They shot him and he went off the road and crushed.”

            The guy handed Mike off to a nearby one and told him to go.

            “Where are the others?”

            “They’re dead. They were a lot more skilled than we thought.”

            “You got to be kidding?! All of them?!”

            “You can take a look for yourself. I wasn’t originally driving in that car. The shot through the window and killed him. It was the only one still intact or not over a hill.”

            “Did you at least kill the guys you were after?”

            “I didn’t personally, but the guy driving the car identical to this one drove them and himself over the hill. I checked on both the van and car. They were all dead.”

            “At least they’re dead. It’s a shame really. The boss isn’t going to like this.”

            “Not too much we can do. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go comb the blood out of my hair.”

            The guy laughed and let me by.

            For as well stocked and clean as this place was, it was boring and depressing on the inside. The attack wasn’t going to happen until I gave the signal and we needed to wait about two or three hours until Mike was taken care of. In the meantime, I took a tour and found where they were keeping the kids. They kept them; both boys and girls, in a giant room with bunk beds and every so often, a guy would come, pick a kid, and take him into a room. I don’t know what happens in there, but whenever they came back out, the kid’s clothes were more wrinkled, the kid had a distant look on his or her face, and the guy would walk away as if nothing happened.

            After about an hour of walking around, I knew where everything was in the building (food, guns, ammo, explosives, some of which I pocketed), including Mike who, according to an assistant working with the surgeons, was pretty sure he going to pull through. It would be another two hours before the surgery was finished. I couldn’t just hang around in the base for another three hours; it would look suspicious and it would get boring so I decided to take action. Going up to one of the top floors, I entered each room and systematically, but quietly, kill everyone. I asked to come to talk or to pretend like I had something important to say then I’d slice their throats and shove them out of sight: closets, under beds, bathtubs, and in the draw of a clothes closet (tight fit). I must of killed 40 people before my cover was almost blown. One guy yelled which brought another guy in and a guy that saw that guy enter the room was followed by another; it was like a badly written sitcom playing out. In the end, I managed to kill 124 people (that’s right, I counted) before someone took notice. During that time, I actually began to detest killing. In the past, I took some happiness from each person I killed, as if I was better than them. Their lives didn’t matter to me; my friend’s lives barely matter to me. Usually, shoot someone, I don't check to make sure their dead unless I suspect they aren't. Stabbing is a different story. After every time I slashed or stabbed a person in the throat, I stood over them, looking into their eyes to make sure they died. Image doing that a hundred times. Image seeing the horror on their faces as they realized they were dying, as they reached up to me in desparation for help and I did nothing. Of the 124, most of them were men. The men sometimes had "friends" over. In each and every single room, mementoes and pictures were displayed on shelves and walls, depicting a happier time. Things have changed since then. Everyone has changed and now I keep wondering if there may have been good in the people I killed that day. 

            By the time the base became aware of the dead bodies, an hour and a half had already passed so I headed up toward the roof. On the floor two levels down from the roof, I saw a familiar sight; a fire alarm. I must a passed these multiple times during all that killing. My original plan was to head up to the roof and signal everyone to make loud noises to draw anyone out of the building so I could use the machine gun turret on the roof to kill them, but the plans changed and they might change again. If the fire alarm worked, I could've pulled it and nearly everyone still alive would exit the building. Of course, there was no electricity anymore. That's when inspiration struck me in the form of arson. I went through the rooms and found plenty of alcohol. I poured it all over one of the beds and set it on fire. I then waited a few seconds before going down to warn everyone. The plan worked. Not only that, but all the suspicion about the dead bodies (even as they found more of them) was put to the side as people knocked on doors trying to evacuate everyone. Two men went up to the room with fire extinguisher to try and put it out. I intervened (connect the dots).

            By the time I reached the roof, mostly everyone was out. People were running back in and coming out with supplies and piling them up. I didn't see mike or the kids. It was time for the signal. I threw one of my grenades into the air and shot it, exploding it in mid-air. The van was lined up with the base entrance down the hill from it. When she heard the signal, Julie wedged a thick piece of wood between the seat and accelerator. She stayed in to make sure it stayed on course before jumping and rolling out. The van ran over a few of the Valors, ricocheted off the right side of gate, and crashed through the entrance, blocking it off. Now, the only way in or out is through the side door of the building. Also, the signal wasn't just for Julie. As soon as they heard the explosion, Brian, Jess and Ann exited the trunk of the car I drove in (it was a tight squeeze). Brian and Jess shot whoever tried to get out through the side. As soon as gunfire filled my ears, I jumped on the turret, and started firing at on the ground. There must had been hundreds and hundreds of people down below. A great deal of them fired and I just narrowly dodged certain death. Everyone was either running away, heading toward the vehicles (which Jess and Brian made sure no one would touch), or shooting back at me. I ducked behind the turrets and fired mostly by instinct and luck (I didn't do too bad of a job). Anyone who ran south from the base had the misfortune of meeting Victor and Julie. They were both instructed to shoot and/or throw grenades at whoever or whatever moved. The turret ran out of ammo so I shot the few remaining determined men. The situation was getting hot (literally with the fire one floor below) so I tied the rope I brought with me off to the turret and slowly propelled my way down the right side of the building passed the burning floors. It seems I didn't get all the men because I was fired at, hit in the leg and nearly fell to my death. I held on and I ended up swinging myself to the front of the building, where the rope shifted, suddenly making me fall 5 feet before I crashed through a window on the fourth floor. My left arm had an extremely deep cut (it was so deep that I could I could see my bone through the thin membrane of muscle still covering it. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. Still, I pushed onward. I made in to the surgery room only to find it devoid of anyone, including Mike. The surgeons could have taken Mike with them or maybe he woke up and read the notes. Either way, my mission was done. There was nothing more I could do in my condition. I went to where the children were being held to make sure they didn't burn alive and guess who I found already there; Mike. He had already gotten them all out and backed as well. He took one look at me and said, "you look like shit!"

            "You don't look so good yourself!" I added. 

            I showed Mike and the kids the way out. Mike stilled wasn't completely healed and things were getting pretty blurring with all the loss of blood so I was glad when we didn't run into anyone. 

            We made it outside and met Brian, Jess, and Ann. The ground was covered in bleeding bodies and I could still hear gunshots going off in the distance.

            "Thanks Brian. You're free to go if you want, but before you do, could you help out Victor? It sounds like he still has a few loose ends to tie."

            "Sure," he said, macho-ly walking off. Sure seems like he had fun. Some of the older kids took guns off the dead bodies and follow Brian (I was in no condition to stop them). 

            "Hey, what are you doing?" Mike asked.

            They said they were going to help. mike didn't like the idea. 

            "Mike, just let them. I'm sure they can't do any harm to us or themselves."

            So the older ones followed Brian while the younger ones just kicked and peed on the corpses (I'm sure they had it coming). When Ann saw my arm, she was shocked.

            "Ohhhh! Here, let me help you," she said pulling me down to the ground and holding out a first aid kit. 

            "Wait. What're you doing?"

            "I'm going to fix your arm."

            "You don't know anything about first aid."

            "Yes I do. How do you think I took care of my wound?"

            Her leg was covered with a bandage and she seemed to walk just fine on it.

            "Fine." I was too tired to argue.

            Mike told Jess to help him get some more stuff out of the base before it burned down, mainly gasoline. After about a half hour long gunfight, Brian, Victor, Julie, and the kids came back, apparently victorious. Victor was limping back (I guess things didn't go as smoothly as I hoped). For the most part, we were successful. Mike is better and we saved the kids.

            From here on out, Mike took charge. All of the remaining vehicles were packed with the all the supplies and people it could carry. Brian and Jess patrolled the area to make sure there were soulless and that no one was ready to ambush us. There were a few gun shots.

            Ann finished up with my arm. It felt so weird afterward. It wasn't long before we were leaving the toppled kingdom. The older kids (who I'm not sure had ever drove a car before) were driving with Mike in the lead car giving directions. I don't know what car I'm in. All I've been doing is writing and looking at this paper since I got in. I just wonder if it was really worth killing all those people to save just one life? We freed the kids, I know, but there must have been another way. A more peaceful way. We are victorious, but in the end, we are still human. We are losers. I'm done writing and I want to go to sleep. It feels like someone's touch my left arm, but there's no one near me except Ann...

- Jack's Diary

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Jack's Diary - Day 46

     Stupid barbarians got the better of me. After we entered a new town and searched for a while (finding nothing), we were approached by what appeared to be members of a circus, wearing red shirts and blue pants. Their smug demeanor and their lustful eyes tipped me off as well as it did to the others. I wasn't expecting the gun fight to come so soon since I thought they intended to take us alive. I was instantly shot in the leg and didn't get a chance to shoot back. The others made a run for it, but Mike came back to help me out of the situation. We went into a nearby school and he took care of the wound. I don't know what it is about sudden incidents of pain that make you forget your problems because last nights concerned were forgotten and I fell asleep shortly afterwards.
     It was during this time that I had a dream. I don't dream very much or at least I didn't up until this point. I also didn't know I was dreaming until I'd woken up. I dreamt I was in the same situation with the men who had shot me. When they open fire this time, I dodged the bullet that had struck me before and the five of us killed them all. However, when I turned back, Mike and the rest were gone. It seemed weird and concerning at the time, but nothing I couldn't handle. I then searched around and in all the building we'd visited, but I found nothing, not even stray soulless wandering about. As the hours passed and about the time the sky should have begun to darken, the sky slowly turned green, casting an eerie green shadow on the town. My sight became blurred as the green shadows became darker and darker until the sky was black and I could barely see two feet in front of me. It all seemed strange when I dreamed it, but not impossible. Finally, I saw lights in the distance moving toward me, so bright that my vision seemed no longer limited. I thought for sure it had to be something good, at least better then staying in uncertainty. I approached the lights to find they were people on fire. They walked just like soulless, but they looked clean and completely human. I backed away to find that more were approaching from behind, from the sides of buildings, from every direction. I'd been cornered and they began to surround me. In their faces, I saw what felt like something familiar. It wasn't until I started shooting that I recognized the faces: they were all people I'd met, dead and alive. I tried to open up a path by focusing in one direction and even throwing the grenades I made to clear a path, but they were determined to keep me trapped. Just when I ran out of bullets and bombs, I drew knives and threw them. And that's when I woke up. When my eyes opened, I saw Mike across from me leaning nervously to right of a knife stuck in the wall. It seems that even in your sleep, you can throw knives with partial accuracy.
     "What the hell?!" Mike yelled at me.
     "Sorry. Reflexes mixed with dream throwing." I looked around the room we were in, "Where are the others?"
     "I told them to wait for us at the blue roofed dorm. I had to go back for you."
     I got up and started gathering my equipment. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. So I guess we're going to go meet up with them?"
     "Yah. Hopefully they're still there."
     "Alright." I started taking guns and other pieces of equipment out of the bag and attaching them to myself, "You lead the way. Once we find them though, I'll be leaving to do something."
     "To do what?"
     "To kill the people who attacked us."
     There was a pause.
     "Jack, we have to deliver the package. Besides, there's no telling how many of them there are."
     "There's no time limit on that package delivery and you've seen for yourself that I've taken on a great number of people before while injured and I still came out on top."
     "But what's the point in going after them? They don't have anything we want."
     I turned around to face him, "The point is that we're probably not the first to be attacked and we won't be the last. You saw the smug contempt they had for us. They were like some hounds staring at hanging meat in the window of a butcher shop. Anyone of us could've been killed in that gunfight: you, me, Lexi. And who's to say we won't get into another fight with them if we try to leave?"
     "It sounds like you want to kill them all. What if they're not all as bad as the ones we met? Would you really kill them all then?"
     "I didn't think twice about doing it when you got captured....... but you are right. I intend to find out who these people are. We're not safe with them around. We'll talk more once we find the others."
     "Alright," he answered.
     We exited the room and walked down the hall towards the exit when a nagging thought came to mind.
     "How did the others know to go to the blue roofed dorm?" I asked.
     "I told them to."
     "When?"
     "During the gunfight, just before I went back for you."
     "Exactly, how loud did you say it?"
     Mike looked over at me strangely. Within a few seconds, he realized what I was alluding to.
     "Shit!" he said as he bolted down the hallway. I tried my best to keep up with him, but I struggled to stay on pace with him. He exited and I followed, up one street and down another alley, all the time looking out for movement around us. It was already getting dark, much like my dream. Mike frequently had to pause for me so I could catch up. I'd never seen him run so fast. Within a few minutes, I could see a blue roof and a group of men standing outside. We hid behind one of the buildings, still far away from them. I was just about ready to chuck a grenade at them when I saw they were bringing two people out of the dorm by force.
     "Damn it," Mike whispered.
     I squinted and I could see they had Lexi and Jess.
     "Still think not all of them are bad?" I whispered, "What'd you want to do now?"
     Mike paused for a moment, considering the options. There were at least 8 people in red and blue (even at night they were easy to spot).
     "Why take them and where's Victor?" he asked.
     "I don't think you're going to like the answer to either of those questions," I answered.
     Lexi was still kicking and struggling when one of the men punched her in the stomach. Mike lunged forward and fired a shot, hitting one of the guys facing away from us in the back. The men began shooting toward us. I quickly drew my rifle while Mike ran across the street and hid behind a nearby building, and began shooting. I shot three men in the abdomen and back and I managed to strike one of the men holding Jess in the leg. He let go of her and she hid inside the building. I think Mike shot two of them, three if you count the first shot. The remaining men tried to drag Lexi to cover, but she continued to struggle even more (bite, kicking) so they threw her down and ran away. Mike followed after them. I ran toward the blue roofed dorm while Lexi stood up and ran into the building. I passed by the men still barely alive bleeding out. Making sure not to startle Lexi or Jess, I called out and made my presence known. I entered to find Victor bloody and bruised on the floor. He was still alive, but in bad shape. There were two dead men on the ground as well. Jess and Lexi were trying to help Victor by wrapping up his wounds.
     I went outside to greet the nearly dead. One was holding a gun and attempting to reload it when I shot him. Another looked like a prime subject to extract information from. I knelt down and held a knife to his throat.
     "I'll give you the option. Tell me where your base is and I'll let you die."
     He looked at me and laughed.
     "Is that suppose to be a threat?" I said.
     I stuck the knife under the skin of his arm, moving it back and forth, as he squealed in pain. I then ripped the piece of flesh I'd just loosed off as he tried to stop me. He was already weak so his struggles were in vain.
     "Yes, it is because I will torture you and keep you alive until you have what I want. From now on, you will be my prisoner and if you don't cooperate now, I ensure you, by the end of it, you will be begging me to let you die."
     I saw a spark of fear in his eyes. He knew I was serious and I was serious. He spilled the information I wanted along with his own blood. He told me why they attacked us (for food, supplies, and for the females) and his only defense was "Only the strongest survive". It would seem they all share this moto. I also was told the location of their base and just in case he's lying, I continued to torture him, telling him I knew he was lying. The answer still didn't change after all that time so I killed him. Jess and Lexi were so busy were Victor, they didn't notice my torture session. Afterward, I told them we needed to go to another building now before they came back, but I didn't want a similar situation to happen again so I waited for Mike. While we waited, soulless began showing up due to all the noise so I quietly took care of them (there weren't too many for some reason). When he returned, he led us to a building he saw while we were searching for supplies. Now, everyone is resting. I don't know what Mike plans to do now, but I know what I'm doing when the sun comes up, with or without Mike and the others.

- Jack's Diary

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Jack's Diary - Day 39

     I wonder if soldiers ever miss the battlefield? I guessing they don't, but it seems they go through a lot of emotional stress coming back since things to them are different. Nothing may have changed at all, yet everything feels so new. This isn't a good thing. When you're at war, you're always looking over your shoulder, you react to the first sign of danger, you dream restlessly of the home so far away that moves on despite your absence. When your home again, you can't abandon those feelings and thoughts that ate away at your mind. All the time, you wished you were home yet you are never truly free of the war since it now takes place inside you. Would you want to go through life like this, trying to regain the peace of mind lost to you or would you just want to stay at war until you die, leaving the haunting memories to rot with your body. I never left this country to go to war, but this is a war, a nightmare to new comers and a normal everyone day scene for the suffering. I can't imagine settling down again, especially now.
     I decided to leave that night. I realized that if I left to find Mike in the morning, Lexi could stupidly leave the base looking for him too. Better that I find him before she wakes up, I thought. I didn't work out to well though. I searched the surrounding towns, peaking into windows, sneaking passed soulless and looking at their faces to see if they looked familiar, and looking for fresh dead bodies (expecting the worse) with no luck. The morning came which made it easier to see and made it easier for me to be seen. I really hoped Lexi wouldn't leave the base, but I didn't have much time to be concerned with that thought. I heard a sound of a handgun being fired and I instinctively jumped to the nearest cover being a small dry cleaner business. I heard more rounds being fired as I ran in. I hid behind the front desk and checked my guns to see if they were loaded. Instead of charging out the entrance I came from, I decided to go out the back door and climb on top of the building to get a better view. I saw about three people ducking behind an old car two buildings away. Although my shooting skills were great, I didn't want to take the gamble of missing them on the first shot and have them retaliate so I went back in the alley behind the building and made a complete circle around buildings and other tall structures to conceal my presence to catch the men by surprise. However, when I got to their location, they were gone. All I found in their place was soulless who I figured showed up as a result of their gunfire and drove them away. I knew that my search wouldn't be safe until I disposed of them so from then on, I searched for any living humans including anyone (or anything) that looked like Mike.
     About another hour into my search, I saw something move in the distance. By the way it moved, I knew it couldn't have been a soulless. Behind it came four more and in an instant, they all turned in my direction. I quickly drew my gun just before they did and managed to pick off one of the ones in the middle. However, one of their bullets pierced my shin. They quickly ran for cover behind the nearby buildings while returning fire, but I took out another one before he could find cover in time. I hobbled over to a store that had a sunk in entrance way. I knew that soulless would be arriving any minute and I was in no condition to run away. To make matters worse, more men came marching forward in the distance. It didn't seem like these guy were amateurs since they managed to hit me from a far distance and had enough brains to leave an area after shooting. I knew that they would begin retreating as soon as the soulless arrived, with me being killed by the soulless and acting as a distraction to ensure they weren't followed. With that thought in mind, I knew I had to press them, make them feel pressured and afraid of me. I stepped out of my hiding spot, shot the first person I saw, and hurriedly moved to the next nearest spot for cover. It hurt to walk or just trying to run for that matter, but it wasn't impossible. I only brought my handgun and a sawed-off shotgun with me so I didn't have a large assortment of weapons to choose from. However, the bag of supplies I took did have some smoke bombs. I'd save those for later. Two men approached my cover. I shot one in the chest and the other in the arm and thigh quickly. I left the last one alive to draw the soulless attention to him instead of me. They may have been better shots than I am used to, but they still weren't as good or fast as me. I then broke through the building I was using for cover and came out the back entrance. I could see soulless heading my direction. I peeked out at the men still left, only a small number in clear sight. I shot two before the other caught on and unleashed a fire storm of bullets in my direction with a few of the stray bullets taking out some nearby soulless. I looked back to find they were retreating. I followed, hoping to catch them off guard. In the distance, I could hear a man screaming in pain. The distraction worked.
     This game of bullet tag continued through nearly three city blocks. I killed three more of the men and managed to get a semi-automatic. Ironically, I was shot in my left shoulder just before picking it up so I couldn't hold it properly to shoot. The soulless followed behind us, feasting on the fallen men. It seemed there were only four or five left or at least there were until I heard an extremely loud and painful scream followed by multiple gunfire. I looked around the corner and saw a very large soulless stabbing one of the men with a large blade for an arm. It had an almost uniformly flat face; there were no identifiable eyes, ears, or nose. It looked like an Olympian. This was the first time I'd ever seen one this big.
     I only saw three bodies so at least one of them must have gotten away. Only two remained alive, one being extremely damaged, and the other was being held up by his neck by the large soulless. I could have saved him, but I chose not to. I watched as the soulless stabbed its blade through his abdomen and then, with his other hand, ripped him in half. He then went toward the last man alive intending to finish him off. I could've watched another killing, but the man was vulnerable right now, meaning I could get some answers from him as to why I was being shot at so I stepped in and shot the soulless in the head with the sawed-off. It didn't seem to phase it at all. I shot it in the head again and it knocked me to the side, intending to grab me, but the shot seemed to unbalance it. It now focused on me as I quickly stood up and reloaded the sawed-off. As intimidating as it was to see this thing survive two powerful shots to the face, I could think of this situation as a wall; with enough hits, it was bound to break. I continued to shoot for the face and it continued to grab or slash at me. After five shots, I was beginning to doubt my theory until it began charging at me, possibly due to enragement or maybe because it was nearing death (or it was getting bored). Either way, something changed which showed I was having an effect on it. Sadly, I ran out of shells for the shotgun and the handgun bullets didn't even seem to phase it. What's worse, more soulless showed up and I not only had to dodge them and the larger one, they already had begun eating the man I wanted to question, making this effort useless. I only had one idea left. I moved as fast as I could to the tallest building I could find and it pursued me. I went to the roof and once it came close enough to the ledge, ran eat it and rammed it over the side, almost taking me with it. Upon hearing the impact, I looked down and watched it for 10 minutes. It didn't move.
     I closed the door to the roof and sat down. I was safe. I thought about the fact that the large soulless didn't eat anything or anyone. It was only interested in killing. The behavior was so uncharacteristic and  almost disturbing to think about; a creature that only wishes to kill. Anyway, it was gone. A better question is why were those men attacking me? Perhaps Mike came across them and they got him. Right now, I didn't know what to think. So many things are running through my head; Mike, Lexi, that soulless, will I die? Through all of this, strangely enough, I felt at home.

- Jack's Diary

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Jack's Diary - Day 9, September 24th 2013

     After the rampage, I left the town quickly. I could give a few reasons as to why, but they all have to do with feelings and meaning concerning the situation, subjects that I have no need or desire to look back on at the moment. No reason to think about stuff that could make you drift away, leaving your body vulnerable, even in the certainty of peace.
     On my way to the next town, I came across a few lost souls and came up with the demented idea to test my skills in gorilla warfare. With a few shouts, I brought the nearby ones into a large grouping of trees and one by one, I took each of them out, sometimes without the others hearing me strike. I was cautious to never let them get the upper hand, but knew events can turn sour so easily. Getting so close to them bothered me since it was always dangerous, but to someone who had no purpose, it wasn't a big deal. That was, until later that day. After my combat practice, I continued on my way. It was during this walk I heard a strange sound I hadn't heard in a while. It was the sound of a dog whining. It turned out it was a dog stuck high up in a tree (as backwards as that may sound). I saw no harm in trying to help it so I climbed up, never once questioning how it got up there. When I reached the branch it was on, I beckoned to it to come to me, but it looked away like it was ignoring me. I slowly approached it and was near enough to touch it when it turned around to face me. I could tell it had been infected, which made me jump back, vibrating the branch and making both me and the dog fall off. On my down, my head hit a branch and I fell flat on my stomach, a thirty foot drop. Afterward I struggled getting up, due to my now injured body and dizzy looking surroundings. I staggered off like a drunk, only looking around for the dog and finding it pierced on a tree branch.
     There's no doubt in my mind that I had a concussion and I knew that passing out was near unavoidable since I had no one with me to keep me awake. What I could do was find some place safe to pass out and hope I woke up again. Blood dripped down the back of my neck as I searched about me like a bear cub that had lost its mother. I had no sense of direction and knew that this time, I certainly would meet my end. That was, until I saw a small cabin. I limped over to it and tried to open the door to find it was locked. I pounded on it, saying "help" over and over. My world slowly became more blurry and my speech much further apart as I passed out against the door. The last thing I remember or more so felt was a falling sensation and crash as my limp body hit the ground.
     I had dreams, but I can't remember them now. They must not have been important. The only things I remember was when I woke up and saw John for the first time. He lived in the cabin and took me in after I'd passed out, just in case I'd been infected. I know that he thought this because I was tied to a bed when I woke up. He figured it was a safe assumption I was a soulless since I could still talk though he threatened to use force if I tried to leave, not until the large gash in my head was healed up. The only things I could do was talk with him, sleep, and write. I'm not going to write down too much of what we talked about, but I will say where I am going and why: Saint Angeles to find a young woman named Jane.

- Jack's Diary

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