Jack's Diary - I Hope When Doubting - Day 60

            I was tired and kept falling asleep during the drive. My dreams replayed my murders before. After seeing these sights so many times, I no longer feel remorse or fear of them; now, when I wait I fear what I’ve become. I haven’t had a fit of murderous rage come over me for a while now, probably because I’m venting through my conscious actions. There’s too much about myself that I don’t understand, but I know I don’t want to be some life taker; there’s no reward or happy endings for such human beings.

            I can barely move my left arm now without it feeling like something was going to tear. I can out a piece of cloth from the bottom of my tent to make a mesh (I’ll deal with the hole later). My leg is feeling good. While I was in and out of consciousness, Ann took the bullet out of my leg and patched it up. I didn’t feel a thing. It seems she does have her uses after all (and how strange that she now suddenly remember now when others had worse injuries before). I’ m not going to debate this though. She did something good.

            We’ve gotten pretty far today, at least I think. My eyes weren’t open for most of it. With Mike, Victor, and I still recovering from injuries, the older kids took up the responsibility of guarding our camp. Mike took the guns off them and gave them melee weapons; understandable, no need to bring attention to ourselves (Also, night’s approaching and I wouldn’t want one of the kids stupidly shooting themselves in the foot). I could still do stuff and I felt fine. It was just my arm that worried me. It’s numb and ugly looking. I really hope it heals up (though I doubt it will ever be the same).

            Mike thanked me and said if it weren’t for me, all six of us would be dead. I can’t take credit for that since it was a group effort and we were lucky. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a team of six taking down an army (with the help of some kids). It’s a story you’d find in Greek mythology or the newest action movie… when they still made them. Had the Valors been smart, they would’ve put distance between us and them (that would be my reaction if someone was pointing a turret at me). They couldn’t bear to leave their home behind even when they knew it was doomed. I despised the Valors, but at the same time, I admired them in some respect. I wish my friends at the Hill ‘d done that. We had a better chance of winning and even if we were defeated, I would die happy, knowing we did our best. I should stop talking about the Hill; it’s gone though I can’t say the same for the memories; the same kinds of memories I hope to see again someday.

            Afterwards, Julie randomly hugged Mike, thanking him (it’s not like I did anything to help). He didn’t hug her back at first. He looked up at me, expecting an answer. I couldn’t see why not, so I thought it was weird that he’d look to me. As far as I’m concerned, with the Valor’s main base destroyed, Julie’s free to do what she pleases and we don’t have to push her away anymore. I left them alone since it was a nice moment between them. I actually a little concerned for Mike; he’s built his purpose around protecting and caring for someone and I’ve seen first hand what happens to him when the person dies. What’s going to happen WHEN Julie dies? (There’s no question since we all will die, but will it be after Mike’s dead?). It’s never good to build your life around something that will fade; that’s why it’s so hard to find meaning and purpose in life. Nearly everything falls to pieces eventually and once its gone, there’s no getting it back; we’re then left to find something else. I just hope he doesn’t let his memories of Lexi slip away. It’s not right to forget someone you once cared about.

            I’d said my purpose is looking after Mike and everyone else, but this isn’t enough. We’re all going to die some day and when we leave this world, it’ll still be a nightmare. I’ve come up with a plan to start wiping out the soulless population of the Earth and I’m going to need help. I decided I’d tell Mike once we got back to base (this also gives me more time to think the plan through).

            Ann came into my tent and sat beside me. There was a lot of activity going on outside and she chose to visit me; it was a nice gesture. I kept staring out the tent flap expecting to see a group of men charging at our camp. I can’t and don’t believe we killed all the Valors: would they let us go and move on? Residents from the other base I helped destroy hunted me for days. I don’t fear the Valors; I fear they will take me by surprise. I fear that my arm will never get better. I just don’t feel right. Let's just move on.

- Jack’s Diary

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Mike's Diary Day 60 - Ah. I'm Back in Business Bitch!

           I woke up on a very comfortable, cozy, small bed. In a small room full with all surgery equipment. My vision was still blurry, but I could see what so called the 'surgeon'. I looked down to my wound, it was already patched up, thanks to him. He turned around and looked at me smiling. 

           "Where am I?" I asked

           "Valors. You were shot when you were off chasing those guys who ran with the Valors' 'package'." 

           "But, I..." Then I realized that somehow they must've confused me for one of the Valors. I started to think what happened to the others. I'm worry about them, but now it comes down to me. What should I do? I wondered.

           "That note that your friend gave you." The surgeon said, "The one that says 'Do not ruin the plan Mike. Make your way out of the base safely, or else kill everyone.'" I looked at him confused, and I became very nervous at that time. After seconds of silence, he told me that he volunteered as the 'doctor' so the Valors wouldn't do anything bad to him. He also told me that he wanted to join me if the plan was successful. I nodded to him, but I didn't promise. I told him later to tell me where the Valors keep the kids, and I asked for the key to that room. He said he didn't have it. After minutes thinking of what we should do to get out of this base, I head gun shots. Right at that second I thought Jack. I fucking knew it. I told the surgeon to follow me. I was limping, weak, and my stitches hurt like crazy, but I managed to ignore it and move on. I saw a guy running towards us and yelled "We're under attack. Here!" while handing me a shotgun (bad idea). I stopped him and said that I need to get all the kids. When he was about to hand me the key, he asked my name in suspicion. I didn't say a thing, cocked the shotgun, and blast his guts out. I grabbed the keys and rushed to the room. I opened the door and everyone was panicking. When I was busy making sure that they're fine, the room beside us exploded (kitchen plus fire. Not a good idea). The surgeon was blown up to pieces, I fell down. I managed to get up to evacuate everyone out of the building when I saw Jack. He was a bloody mess. In this situation, there's no room for anything but humour.

           "You look like shit." I said to him

           "You don't look so good either!"

We proceed our ways, I followed Jack, and the kids followed me. It was a very cruel sighting for kids to see, but we continued outside. I heard gunshots, few, and slowly faded out to one or two shots. The base was a mess. Victor and the other older kids off chasing the remaining of the Valors (Which I don't like). They could be in much deeper shit than we were. Everything went smoothly, though Victor came back with some minor bruises. Oh great. Now we have an army of kids from age 12-17. Which is good and bad at the same time. We have 32 kids on board excluding the 6 of us, and we had a convoy of cars. Me, in a mustang, the lead car, a pick-up truck, and Rv, and SUVs. On the way back, all I could see in the rear-view mirror was Jack passing out. I wouldn't so worry about him, the guy is a tough son of a bitch. Thanks to him I was saved, but thanks to him also that we all almost died. We drove for hours until we can reach the eastern part of the country, which is our original base. Few more days, man knowing this, we should've taken the high way instead of the forest. 

           We decided to take a break here, in the middle of nowhere. Craze everywhere, so I had to get the people from age 16+ to patrol in shifts. I know, kind of cruel, but hey, we're a team now. I took all of their guns away and gave each of them machetes, axes, bats, and crowbars. I just couldn't risk attracting more craze with gun shots. I set up my usual tent right beside my car. Julie is staying in my car, she wanted to sleep there. The RVs surrounded my tent, Jack's tent is on top of a pick-up truck, the others were preparing fire. Julie's head stuck out from the car and thanked me. I said no problem. I went out from my tent to approach Jack to thanked him. I said that without him, all the six of us would've been dead. When I was talking to Jack, Julie approached me and hugged me. 

            "No seriously. Thank you Mike." She said. I looked at Jack in hesitation whether I should hug her back or not, and Jack looked at me as if he was saying "C'mon, give the kid a break you fucker.", and so I hugged her back. I almost teared up, and Jack left us both (I don't know what he's thinking about Julie and me now. Who cares, Julie gives my life a whole new meaning.) Julie stopped and looked at me and said

            "C'mon old man, don't be such a pussy." Then she punched me on my stomach. Ouch... I held my stomach, and all I could see was everyone giggling at me. I went back to my tent to rest, to get all recovered for our next journey back home. Hopefully it'll be a safe and not bumpy ride for all of us. I'm done writing, I'm sleeping.

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