Is This it? - Day 92 Mike's Diary

We've arrived, another abandoned town where we could re-supply all of the things that we are missing. There's not much really in this town I'd say, some thugs, or survivors like us were already been here way before us probably. Still though, no one gave up, and we still try to look for any signs of food, supplies, or anything really that we can use to hold us up a little bit longer. When we got here, Jack was eager to unpack his stuff, to finally get back to his work-bench to create more greatness, more weapons, and more equipments for all of us to use. Right now, it feels like everything has come to an end, we can reach nothing, and we all have no more goals. We got all we wanted, but now what? That's the question that has been pondering in my head for a while now. We have everyone, well almost everyone that we love with us right now. No troubles except for craze and more thugs, but other than that, what's the point of living? What is there to chase? Dreams have burnt down to pieces, money is worthless, and the stuff that you wanted when everything was normal is gone. The lust of relaxation, money, vacation, love, everything is gone and now it's all up to us what we want to do with the rest of this.

Moses and Julie are currently setting up the tents for us to stay for the night, I'm here watching the surroundings from on top of a tree, Victor is on the other side of the road, in an abandoned pharmacy looking for any signs of medicine, or a first aid kit, while Jack is hammering away, making more weapons and all. I was still thinking about Jack's conversation with himself during his sleep. I've never mentioned it before, but he said something along the line of leaving the group. "Operation Inferno", those are his two favourite words. He still insists in saving the world, killing all the craze in the world, though I'm sure that there will be no ending to that since more and more and more and most people are getting infected each day. Jack could kill himself if he actually decides in doing this idea of his. I don't even know whether we should all go with him, and help him "SAVE THE WORLD", or should we stay, and travel, looking for a great hidden place to start fresh from zero. I've lost too many people who I consider close to me, hope I won't lose Jack too, but if it is his decision, then I'd try my best to let it go.

Night is approaching, we started a fire, no one really watch the premises, since again we don't care what will happen next anymore. Maybe for once we can be happy without worrying our surroundings. I hope Jack will actually talk to us if he meant to be leaving the group to do his whole operation thing, though at the same time, I don't want him to bring it up, so we can just stick together and avoid arguments within the group.

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Jack's Diary - Until That Time - Day 86

*Early Morning*

            I don’t care what Moses thinks. It wasn’t my fault. What was I suppose to tell them when I had that first dream? I wasn’t even sure if all that stuff happening it was real. They would’ve told me it was just a dream or worse, locked me up for fear I’d gone nuts. Of all the things Ann could’ve done, that had to be her last act. To stand back and watch us kill each other. What the hell am I writing her name for still? Never again! No more!

            What puzzles me is why Moses was left alone. He woke up and everyone was gone. Why was he spared? (Maybe as an insurance policy in case “she” failed, Moses might have killed me, especially if Mike had been killed).

            We got up early and are about to continue to head for the Grand Oak River. Still no sign of Jess and Victor.

*Noon*

            Right now, I’m sitting up in a tree, still not in a 100 percent condition. Had I been previous, there would’ve been no contest in that fight with (just a series of punches and kicks I dodged and landed on him). Now we’re resting. All of my grenades and flash grenades are gone, but luckily, there was some ammo left over at the tree fort and our stop there allowed me to bring my other non-essential stuff along, like books (I left them there, expecting to come back if my mission was successful. Had I not, someone else would get them). I hope we’ll stop in a town again some day; it’d give me a chance to restock and make some more weapons.

            I’ve been thinking about that story. She said Carol had been a lab rat for a company. She couldn’t have been the only test subject; human testing labs always have more than one to more firmly establish that the test results apply to everyone and not just the test subject, even in extremely risky cases (you never want someone to question the results of your research because that could mean starting all over again). The thought of more nutcases isn’t comforting, but it’s possible the other subjects weren’t bitten, were killed, or they reacted differently than her (whose to say if that story is even real). If it is though, I’d like to find this company. Developing a substance to change the nature and jobs of cells is not an easy thing to do. Perhaps there’s more to the experiments and the company itself.

            Everyone’s quiet, probably thinking about Victor and Jess. Would you think less of me if I told you I didn’t care if they were alive? I don’t know why, I just don’t feel sad or worried. I wouldn’t abandon them and I’d lay down my lives for them, but I don’t miss them. I just don’t feel… anything.

*Afternoon*

            We reached it, Grand Oak River. Honestly, not really that grand. There was a flat rock outcropping, like a small cliff, eight feet tall next to the river bank. I was going to suggest we make a camp on it, but it would take considerable work to pitch and anchor a tent on a rock. After everything was set up, I got on top of the rock and looked out. There was something, like a town or city in the very far distance. Nothing else, but trees and birds.

            I went out and gathered some plants and berries. Many plants take advantage of the river water so vegetation was not in short supply. I also managed to catch two large frogs (one I speared by throwing a knife. I actually didn’t think it would work). I spent most of the afternoon cooking the frogs. Everyone tried it though I don’t know if they liked it.

            I’m starting to get a little concerned. I keep getting these migraines. They’re not extremely bad, but I never had them this often. I didn’t even notice them when they started, until they became a regular occurrence. I guess it’s kind of selfish for me to be thinking of myself at this time

*Evening*

            I’m on lookout right now with Mike. I’m thinking about things again. I can’t help, but ponder the line between right and wrong, for myself especially. There’s still no sign of Jess and Victor.

*Night*

            I just finished my lookout time with Mike. I now sit atop the rock and write this. The night’s quiet save for the sound of rushing waters and night creatures. There haven’t been many soulless bothering us. It’s funny, I used to always write about the soulless I encountered and killed. Now, I hardly mention them at all. Their intrusion has become a norm like eating and sleeping so much that I could kill 10 without even thinking twice. Even the faces are beginning to melt into one ugly image in my head.

            I’ve been rethinking my earlier statement, about what happened to everyone. It may just be my fault. It certainly isn’t the fault of those who died. Had I never met Mike and his group, I’d be dead and they never would’ve gotten involved in the matter. She would be alive too, but she probably would’ve found someone else to stalk. All those people, all those lives, every single one of them died because of me and it’s always how it is. No one stays alive for long when they’re around me except for Mike. If Jess and Victor don’t show up then that’ll only go to prove my point further. It’s like I have a grim reaper hovering over my head, pulling my strings and watching time unfold and the death count rise. If I can’t protect anyone then what the hell is the point of living? My entire purpose was centered on the idea that I could preserve lives, save people from a demise they would have met without me. It’s as if I’d help more if I didn’t exist. Maybe I should just spend my time killing soulless? I don’t see how any harm can come of that. Less soulless to bite and bother. If we ever reach another city or town, I might leave then, but not yet. Until that time, I’ll contemplate what to do next.

- Jack's Diary

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Sign me Up as a Sniper Force - Mike's Diary Day 78

Well, the hunting group was a success, proud to have them around. The holes-digger group also did  a great job. Dug up hole, almost half our perimeter, and I am sure that it'll be done in a couple of days or so.

*morning*

I woke up as usual, the early bird. I drank some water and brushed my teeth (hygiene is gold). Washed my face, and as usual, went to the area so-called my "office". Looking at the map, and deciding what we should do today. We have some food that's enough for our group for a couple of days, and there's no way we'll keep feeding the village. Hell, we already offered defense and all. Today, I thought was best if we use to finish the 3m deep ditches. Therefore, I grouped the hunters and the diggers to work with the defensive line (digging hole that is). I woke everybody up after I noted what I was going to tell them, and once again I gathered the leaders. Victor, Moses, and Jack. I told Victor and Jack exactly what's on the note, this time we might be able to double the pace, and I told Moses and the other men to again patrol. I left Julie with Moses for I wanted to do something myself. Jack protested, why and where am I going alone, but I didn't really say much. I told Moses to be in charge of everything, and told the leaders that I will still have my walkie-talkie with me.

*Afternoon*

I packed up what I needed, and off I went. I needed sometimes for myself.
What's in my bag you asked?

1. Sniper rifle with a thermal scope + amunitions
2. A hammer
4. Map
5. Compass
6. Water
7. Diary
8. Binoculars

Nothing much really. The reason I'm doing this is because I just need sometimes to myself (Like what I used to do, just wondering around and all). Yeah useless, I should've been helping the others, but I'm just too stressed out thinking about what happened to our lives.

I climbed a tree, and it is about 40 yards away from the suburbs. I was well hid, and was able to see my surroundings (height advantage). Nothing but craze around, and a cutter. I was trying to make sure that the little blob behind its neck is what triggers its nerves. I started sketching the the cutter (Yes, I'm an artist), 2 sides, front and side, so I know what it looks like, so I can teach the do's and don'ts while fighting monsters. I aimed my sniper rifle, held my breath and pulled the trigger. At that second, it blew up the blob behind the cutter's neck and it can no longer move. I got it now, quickly I drew an arrow towards the blob on my diary and wrote "weak-spot".

*Evening*

I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting, tried to relax, but I couldn't. I'm still picturing Lexi in my head, she's sitting beside me, she's swearing at me, and all of the things that we used to do together. Almost brought tears to my eyes again. After another 10 minutes, my walkie-talkie started going off with static, and I can only made out a few words (more like whisper) "They have Jack as a hostage." Sounded like Julie. I quickly packed everything and rushed back to the village. About 2 miles away from the base, I could see 4 people (i climbed a tree and was using my binoculars), and 2 holding Jack by his hands with a knife on his throat. 1 let Jack go, and the other one used him as a shield with his knife still on Jack's throat. It was intense, guns were pointed at each other. This is almost impossible I thought. I used the walkie-talkie to communicate with Victor and Moses (who were hiding behind a wall at that time). I told them to get ready with a gun, and each of them had to pick a target to save Jack's life. 5 minutes already, the sun is dawning, and I switched to my thermal scope for my sniper rifle. My last words on the walkie-talkie were "Take your targets once you heard my rifle". I aimed at the guy who had Jack, right in the head, but no. I changed my mind. I aimed at his neck, and pulled the trigger.

*Night*

Blood everywhere. Everyone died, except for the guy who had Jack. Jack tried to stop his bleeding (smart move), just what I wanted. I want him for further questioning, and let Jack to do it himself for he is a better negotiator than me. I came back, and the holes were almost done. Everybody was tired, and Julie came up to me. She asked me where I was, blablabla, and just sat down beside me. I told her, I'm gonna ask Jack what happened tomorrow. Honestly, I wouldn't worry so much about Jack. He could've taken 3 of the 5 guys out himself, but he was probably thinking clearly that he would've injured not only himself, but also the others. Good call Jack.

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Jack's Diary - Day 41

     I've spoken with Mike about his brother and he said he'd talk to him. Something tells me it won't go well. If nothing changes then I don't think I'll be sticking around to watch everyone die off. As much as I'd like to help them, they need to help themselves first. Not to mention the danger that group we met in the city poses if they find us. Although it is just a nagging notion in my mind, I don't think the boss is dead. He wasn't bleeding when we left so he could've easily been wearing a bullet-proof vest (he might be crazy, but he seemed intelligent and definitely not stupid enough to blindly walk into his own demise). Anyways, danger does not frighten me; it's people who value possession over life. It always leads to destruction. What I told Moses was correct and he doesn't want to give up control of the base, not even for the greater good. I suppose only time will tell if doom is on the horizon.
     Back at the base, I took care of my wounds properly and afterwards, I began sorting through firearms with Jessie. I still can't look her in the eye, but I can work with her. Lexi joined us later on. The base had an ample amount of guns and ammo, along with some melee weapons. It bothered me a little that there was nothing else, such as grenades, smoke bombs, tazers, bow and arrows, bear traps, or anything other than guns. Guns are fine if you're looking to get to point A and back, but what if another task was at hand? What if one of the people here at the base had a nervous breakdown and got ahold of gun. A gun would stop them in their tracks (dead in their tracks), yet a gazer or tranquilizer would work and it would save someone since we need all the help we could get. The people here at the base relies exclusively on guns yet they don't seem too concerned with the fact that no one manufactures ammo anymore and once it is all gone, what will they be left with? Just a bunch of devices that no longer have any use. Perhaps it's wrong to lay such a judgment on the base, especially when comparing it to my old base. Still, the future does not look bright if nothing changes.
     After we were done sorting, I left the base to gather some food and supplies. The area around the base had a lot of plants and trees, allowing me to find plenty of berries and plants and good tree branches. I took them back in and started working on making some of my own weapons. Surprisingly, the base had a lot of scrap parts and other random items lying around in piles so I "borrowed" some of them. As night approached, I had already finished some of my creation: with some sheet metal and rope, I made my own bullet proof vest, with an old car battery and a toy gun I found, I made a gazer/torture device, with a numbing liquid I created from grinding up some of the plants I gathered and a spring loaded gun, I made a tranquilizer gun, and with two bricks I carved out, I made two brick knuckles (I'd say brass, but they're not made of brass). I still working on the bow and arrow (I haven't quite gotten the tension to stay in the bow string), the trap is near finished, and I made a wooden spear with a rope attached to it. I'm still in the process of developing some kind of explosive material and a chemical that will produce smoke out of the materials that I have access to, but this is a step in the right direction. I'm thinking that tomorrow, I'll go out and try and find a gardening shop and bring back all the seeds I can carry. Even if I can't plant them, they'll be great for baiting birds.

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