Jack's Diary - Bare Arms and Covered Darkness - Day 74

*morning*

            I already told Mike we’re going back to base. I characterized Ann by using the word “maniac” when stating why we needed to go. I think it fits her. For some reason, it never occurred to me until this morning that obtaining a car would get us back faster and safer (plus, if by chance I saw Ann, I could run her over). I plan to go out as soon as I’m done writing this.

*evening*

            We made it back to base. Two soulless almost got to Mike, but I took care of them. The truck was surprisingly easy to find. He thanked me, but at the time (like most of the time), I wasn’t in the mood for talking. Mike’s seeing a doctor right now. As soon as I parked the truck, I ran to my room to grab the journal pages documenting my dream, but I couldn’t find them. If Ann could sabotage those rifle silencers without me knowing, she could have snuck in and out of here with the pages, especially while we were gone. The only real evidence to defend myself, to show that my explanation isn’t crazy and she took it. I wasn’t even that good of evidence since a mad man can write in blood, but I wanted to show it to Mike. Now I have nothing except my word (there’s the hand and footprints I painted over, but that would take some scraping on my part and with my luck, they probably disappeared. She’s one step ahead of me.

            You’d think after being out in the open for so long that I’d bask in the safety behind these walls for a while. I didn’t. Not when what I truly fear can scale them. I took a walk outside, avoided the soulless and just looked around. Again, I kept hoping to see her. In some way, I wouldn’t mind dying by her hand since that’s what I’m expecting to happen anyways. There was nothing save for a few stray soulless.

            I went back to the armory and looked over the rifle silencers. Nearly all of them had something metal blocking the opening. I removed the potential dangers and stored the silencers away except for the few I wasn’t done with yet. I’m going to finish them now.

*late evening*

            Mike came to see me and he asked what I thought happened out there. I was really ready to tell me even if he didn’t believe me when there was the sound of gunshots from outside. We went out and found Moses and Victor outside the door of the base talking with two guys (Valors) who wanted Julie. When Mike refused to hand her over, they proclaimed they’d return tomorrow with a present. This definitely didn’t sound good to me. There’s less of them now since our prior incident with them, but we don’t know just how many there were to begin with or just how great their influence is. I’ll stand by Mike, but I’m not looking forward to more death.

*night*

            I practiced with the sniper rifle by “hunting” soulless from the watchtower. Impossible to hunt at night, you say? No, just really, really difficult especially without night vision. I was glad to have the moon out. The swift motion of their bodies hitting the ground alerted me that my proficiency with the weapon hadn’t changed. No one heard or saw the shots thanks to the silencer (at least, I don’t think anyone saw the shots). As much as I’d prefer to be part of the action, I feel like I have more control over battles in a sniper position. I can see everything; I can see who needs help, and who is the real danger to us.

            I must say, I really admire the people of this base. They all want to remain and protect it. Then again, values and objectives change when the time comes to make true on words. I hope they are serious. I don’t want to lose another home.

            Mike asked me what I was going to say before, but I told him I forgot. I remember how first realizing that things like Ann could exist in this world shook me up and Mike doesn’t need that now. This battle coming up is more urgent. I think I’ll finish off my double sledge before tomorrow. Super glue and nails will have to do.

- Jack’s Diary

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Jack's Diary - Watch and Be Watched - Day 72

*Early Morning*

            Nothing happened or at least I hope nothing happened. I fell asleep for a few hours (paranoia can sure make you tired). I straightened myself, feed the canary some seeds, and went outside. There were a few people out on watch, but for the most part, everyone was still sleep. I climbed up on the wall and for once in a really long time, watched the sunrise.

*Morning*

            A relaxing view isn’t enough. I feel like a caged animal or a test subject. Just the idea of being watched is so disturbing and disgusting. I ended up going outside the base and killing a few soulless and not just quick kills; I rammed my machete through one of their backs and out their front (it interesting to hear a soulless gag). I also made it a point to see if I could pierce a soulless’ skull with just my machete. After a few adjustments with the speed and force of doing it, I succeeded. It was strangely… fun.

*Noon*

            I started looking over my old journal entries. That whole experience this morning made me realize that I have changed and not for the better. I always knew I had, but now the label human doesn't seem like an accurate description of me anymore. When I started out from the Hill, I was for the most part a pretty well put together person; I enjoyed nature and just wanted a purpose. Now, I’ve got over 100 murders under my belt and all this strange stuff keeps happening to me. And what worse, I’ve become a spectacle, a grand show for a demon, who when I compare her (it) from my dream to me, we are almost similar. Which makes me even more miserable.

*Afternoon*

            I resolved to put on a solid outer appearance despite this paranoid fear that I feel. I made four more silencers and then went for a walk. Mike was still working on that building project with Victor and the twins and I have no clue what he has planned with it. He wouldn’t tell me. Still, I managed to put on a brave face and have a conversation with him about the funny aspect of opening up a survival store when Moses brought up Ann. I left shortly after, not saying another word. Why can’t people let the name die! They haven’t seen her around so they automatically assume I should know since she hung around me like a necklace. If I don’t want to talk about it, they should shut up!

*Later Afternoon*

            This isn’t right. Mike and I went out to test some of the silencers I made today and yesterday. Early on, he kept talking about Ann; about how quiet and nice she was and that he hadn’t seen her in a while. I should’ve just told him she decided to leave or she got bitten and I shoot her. Both of those are believable and don’t sound insane, but I can just feel that lie coming back to bite me and everyone else later (quite literally if she enjoys human flesh). She poses a danger to more than just me. Going into the city since nature was slowly taking it back anyways, we found a young doe eating a plant that was growing between the cracks of the road. I intended to kill it with one of the rifles, but when I pulled the trigger, it backfired and made the top of the silencer container explode. I didn’t have time to check it out at the time since the sound brought soulless from all around the area to us, but I retrieved it when everything calmed down; it was a thick piece of metal that was shoved in front of the barrel (I’ll admit that I worked on a lot of these while drowsy and even partially blind, but there is no way that a piece of metal like that would end up blocking the barrel by accident. I’d never seen it before in my life). Anyways, Mike and I had to run. He ran down an alleyway and I jumped on top of a truck. I may have been able to make the jump to grab onto the side of a building, but I didn’t want to risk it being so far away. The soulless surrounded the truck, swinging their arms wildly at me, trying to knock me off. Every so often, one would get up on top with me from the front hood and I’d stab it through with the machete and kick it away just like earlier. I didn’t bring much in the way of weapons with me except for a handgun, my knives and machete, a few grenades, and the rifles (which I chose not to use at the time for fear they would backfire as well). The noise the soulless were making, banging their arms against the truck were bringing more of them. I decided to jump and make a run for it. The alleyway Mike went through was blocked by soulless in it so I ran down the street slicing and stabbing anything in my way. A few blocks down, I saw a car that had been driven through the front display window of a building so I used it as a step to reach the roof and then jumped to the accompanying building’s roof. I looked for Mike, but he was nowhere in sight.

            Now, as for that metal piece, someone had to have put it there intentionally. The other rifles I had with me were ones I recently made (judging from the different tapes that I used). None of them had anything blocking the barrel except for one, (a large metal piece just like the other) which I am certain this one was made yesterday as well. The thought of Ann doing this was believable enough for me to stop weighing the options and start looking for Mike once the excitement calmed down.

*Night*

            Found Mike alive, thankfully, but not in the best of shape. I was tempted to believe he went back to base, but I wanted to be sure he was all right. Building after building I searched. I found a small journal on the floor of a house (strangely, it was the only door I had to break down due to it being locked). After carefully disposing of the soulless that heard the commotion, I began leafing through it and it seemed to be Mike’s. I never saw his handwriting before, but it mentioned Julie, Victor, and me so I’m certain it is his. There was no sign of him there. I ended up finding him in a more menacing position. Near the city hall for this particular city was a flagpole. I have no idea what flags were hung there when civilization was bustling, but even in the distance, a dark red flag against the pale moonlight looked peculiarly odd. At its top, I saw Mike tied by his arms to the rope that held the flag up. Blood dripped down from his shoes as his body swayed in the wind with the flag. It took a little maneuvering to lower him down, but he made it to the ground safely. He was unconscious when I found him. The area where his wrists had been tied was rope-burned and near white from the lack of blood flow. There was a small mark on his neck, the kind that you’d receive from getting an injection. A section of his leg had been carved out like the inside of a canoe (I’m inclined to believe after looking at the flag closely that it was colored with his blood using that spot in his leg.). I carried him to the roof of city hall and wrapped up his wounds with pieces of the red flag, as I didn’t have a medical kit on me. I’m going to wait a while and hope that he wakes up so I can take him back to base. If he doesn’t before dawn, I’ll carry him back myself though it would leave both of us vulnerable. This is Ann’s doing. I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life. I don’t understand why she would do this to him, but it must be her, especially after finding the words carved into Mike’s back, “watch and be watched”.

- Jack’s Diary

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Jack's Diary - The Nightmare of Living - Day 71

 *Morning*

            It was probably before dawn when I woke up. I don’t look to the sky too much anymore so I wouldn’t know. I didn’t finish the design. It’s going to be a pole with a sledgehammer on each end. Since the head of each hammer is going to be heavy, I knew I needed to make the pole strong and near unbreakable. I couldn’t do that without a power drill and some lighting so I decided to wait until morning. The good news is the base does a have a few power drills, but the parts are scattered around all the storage areas like a Find It picture book. Only found two drill bits and the body of the drill itself before I stopped looking; no battery pack (ironic). I’ll look for it later.

            After the search was over, I managed to make two more silencers and tested them; they work just as well as the others. I was working on attaching a newly made silencer to a rifle when Mike snuck up on me. I turned and pointed the barrel of the rifle at his cheek (I’m glad the habit of identifying my target’s face before shooting has prevailed after all this time). He told me he was impressed with my work, but that I should take a break. Like that’s going to happen. Relaxing just isn’t relaxing to me. There’s too much to do and not enough time in our lives left to finish it.

*Around Noon*

            Found a stupid battery pack. An uncharged one! You’d think they’d keep this place a little more orderly, especially equipment like batteries and chemicals. The only good thing to come out of my search was the assortment of knives, screws, nails, wires, and the bow saw I found (mine now). Screws won’t do much good without a drill and although the nail could work, I don’t want to chance the weapon breaking mid-swing. I should give it a name as to be more specific. Double Sledge, perhaps?

            Mike is building something with a few other guys. I didn’t bother to ask in case I’d get stuck with helping (I’m not lazy; I just prefer my own projects). It appears to be the foundation for a house or building of some sort. Not a bad idea since the more buildings we have, the better. A storage shed, a place for sleeping, a bigger watchtower. There are definitely some possibilities with it.

*Afternoon*

            I don’t think it’s going to be a storage shed. They’re not adding a roof at all so it’ll probably go up at least another floor. Victor and two guys (who I think I saw on the roof in the city) have been working on it for a while now. I finished another three silencer and again searched for a battery pack. No luck and there aren’t too many places left to look. I’m tempted just to drown the Double Sledge in cement glue despite knowing it’d break apart easily. Also, I would need glue.

*Evening*

            It’s been an “interesting” day. Definitely not one of my worst. Mike asked me to join him and Victor in a search party to look for Julie. Apparently, she went missing a while back and wasn’t anywhere on base. We drove into the city to look for her. I hadn’t noticed just how horrid the outside world smells, like decay and car fumes. I say outside world because I take comfort inside the walls of the base and it seems so different than the bleak landscape around us.

            We searched the grocery stores and other loot-able places where she may have gone. No sign of her there and not much to loot either. It seemed like hours had passed before we found her. Of all the places you’d expect; in an old arcade. She said she wished the games still worked. I guess I can relate and I can’t blame her for yearning for a lost time, a time where nightmares were only in our dreams. I looked around at the games. A lot of the screens were busted out and the wiring and token collectors ripped away (there was more glass on the floor than tokens). I started thinking back to one of the few times I went to an arcade; the lights, the sounds, the smiles. All lost.

            Mike took Julie to get some new stuff or as he put it “shopping”. Not surprisingly, most of the toys in the toy store were untouched. No demand for toys when food and water was scarce. I took a few things for myself, including some water guns, a few little (batteries included), some small fluffy animals (just in case I need padding in the future), and a Star Wars lightsabor just because I wanted one. Victor rolled his eyes when he saw me take it. We visited a few other places after, but I don’t remember what they were called as not too much interested me at those places.

            I remember during our trip that Julie said she wouldn’t go alone again if Mike wouldn’t do it either. Mike looked to Victor and I for help, but neither of us said a thing. As fun as it is to go alone, it dangerous. Mike seemed to agree with Julie though I don’t specifically remember him making a promise. That was one conversation. It was the ride home that the feeling came over me again. Mike asked about Ann and all I did was look out the window. What was I suppose to him? That she left randomly at night? The horrible truth? I planned on lying or just giving a vague answer, but I just couldn’t do it. To make it worse, as I was staring out the window, my vision began to get blurry. I thought the window was getting cloudy. It was my eyesight. In less than a minute, all I could see was white, much like that blinding light from before. Luckily, I wasn’t the one driving at the time. I didn’t want to alert the others to it or to show any fear so I took to writing in my journal and I continue to do so. My sight has returned partially though I dread looking up from my writing.

*Night*

            My vision is almost completely restored. It was still a little blurry when I went back to working on the silencers (I’m probably going to have to remake the new ones). Mike told me to “take a major break”. For once, I complied with this command. I sat against the wall of the base far away from the others as night overcame the sky. I began remembering or for lack of a better word, reliving the nightmare I had about Ann and the proof I woke to. The Ann I thought I knew was kind, shy, and perhaps a little naïve. The Ann I met in my dream was confident, prideful, and had a malicious toyful nature about her. They were opposites and yet how could I have dreamed up that other personality of Ann when I don’t recall ever meeting someone that could even come close to fitting that description? I also thought of the blinding light I saw and the sights that came afterward. Am I to believe that I saw Lexi alive and well or that I dreamed it? What dragged my body back up the hill and did I even fall down it in the first place. That letter I found was the most confusing. It sounded like it was from Ann or Jane and even then, it just doesn’t make sense. What the point of it all? As I was going over the details in my head again, I felt a small cold breeze on my neck, as if someone had breathed on it. In a low feminine whisper came the words, “Come to me…” and I instantly drew a knife and stabbed at the space behind me. All I hit was the base wall. There was no one around me.

            Right now, I’m sitting in the corner of my room with a shotgun next to me, watching the door and window, both locked, occasionally writing in this journal. I’m not afraid. It’s not fear; it’s paranoia. Paranoia of what may come to be.

- Jack’s Diary

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Jack's Diary - The Caged Bird - Day 70

*Morning*

            It turned out the kid was just putting a collection of ammo clips in the storage shed for one of the men who didn’t feel like doing it himself. I doubt he’ll do it again voluntarily after how much I scared him. Even in the presence of complete peace, it helps to be suspicious, even if it harms you a little in the long run. I went to Mike’s room to tell him I’d do the Project myself. He insisted that he’d go with me, since I could easily not make it back (which made sense considering I hadn’t attempted the plan yet so there might be some unforeseen consequences. I found it ironic that the guy who goes it alone so often is telling me I need backup). As much as I hate to wait, he said we’d do it after the Valors are no longer a threat. When exactly aren’t they going to be a threat? When they’re all dead? Do we really need to kill them all to have peace of mind? Even if we killed one hundred of them, who knows if they have a thousand more waiting? I wasn’t going to argue about it so I left.

            I’ve been recently thinking of catching a bird. A hawk would be nice. There are plenty of exotic birds in the area (maybe even some parrots from an abandoned pet shop that escaped). I’ve always wanted a pet of some kind and dogs and cats aren’t readily available at the moment. I intend to set up a trap. Right now, all I need is a cage, a pile of seeds, a long string, a stick of some kind, and a sturdy box with some holes in it. I’m going to make a rabbit trap (it should work with birds though). It’s easy to make: you prop the box up with the stick, tie the string to it, lay the seed under the box, back away a safe distance to lure the bird into a false sense of security, and pull the string to trap them. The supplies shouldn’t be too hard to find in the pile of assorted junk that’s accumulated in a few of the storage sheds.

*Afternoon*

            Usually, I excel at everything I do. Bird catching is not one of them. They seem to always fly away before I spring the trap. It doesn’t help that people walk by and scare them away. They probably think I look like a moron doing this, but I don’t care. While I was searching for the supplies, I found a cassette player. Until now, I’d forgotten about the tape I found on Matt. All it needs is some new batteries and I’ll be able to listen to it.

            I could’ve sworn I heard an air horn go off in the far distance. Man, I wish I had one; it’d work perfectly for the plan. Perhaps I found one and forgot about it. I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff myself so I’ll have to look.

*Evening*

            Finally caught one! It’s a small yellow canary. His (or her) name is Ray, as in a ray of sunshine (when you don’t know the sex of a pet, it isn’t a good idea to be calling it names like Drew or Mary when such names are mainly for boys and girls). It’s now perched inside the dog cage in my room that I customized with a bowl of food, a water droplet container, newspaper, and a thin piece of wood tied to the side of the cage for Ray to sit on (ironically, I used the same string from the trap). I get the feeling from the way it looks at me that it hates me for having caught it. I may not keep it too long. I had some extra time so I looked through my journal to see if I’d ever picked up an air horn. Only once. I’d planned to use it previously on home base of the red and blue uniformed men. If anyone would have it now, it would be Jess since I gave it to her. I’ll ask later.

            I heard Mike was brought in with an injury so I went to see if he was okay. He turned out to be fine. Just shot in the shoulder. Before leaving him, he tasked me to make a weapon that was silent, but could hit a target 30 meters away (about 100 feet, I guess). Easier said than done. I told him I’d see what I could do.

            The only guns in the base’s arsenal that could accomplish hitting a target at that distance by an average gun user would be a rifle or sniper rifle (I’m not aware of the types or exact names). Back at the hill, I learned a few different ways to make one, but I didn’t have a lot of materials to work with so only one effective method came to mind. For this, I need some water bottles, cylinders big enough to fit the water bottles in (anything from plastic pipes to Pringles cans), and padding (cloth, sponge, paper, bubble wrap). To do this, you cut two water bottles in half width wise, cut a third one’s bottom off, connect the three water bottle top to top while including padding in them, drill a hole in the bottom water bottle part cut off (I had to measure the bullet’s diameter to make sure it was big enough), reattached it, covered the whole thing in padding, insert it into a cylinder, and then drill a hole in it as well. The last thing to do was connect it with the gun. It looked like garbage, but nothing a little paint couldn’t fix. The material were pretty easy to get a hold off consider people in the base were throwing them away. A guy named Spence S. showed me how to do this while I was still at The Hill. It’s funny. He learned this back before the outbreak just by experimenting. He even claimed to have posted an instructional video about it, among other ones. Kind of wish he was still around.

*Night*

Asked Jess. She thinks she left it on the roof of their base. Oh well. I made and tested 5 silencers, 4 for regular rifles and 1 for a sniper rifle though the silencer may be obstructing the scope’s view. They worked fine and I only had to fix one. I would’ve made more, but it takes awhile to get the measurements exact. I don’t want anyone hurting themselves due to an error on my part. By now, Mike had gone to bed so I plan to show them to him in the morning. I could continue working, but it’s too dark and batteries don’t grow on trees so I’m not using a lantern. Speaking of batteries, I found a box full of them and decided to “borrow” two for the cassette player. I’ll listen to it before I go to sleep. Before that though, I have one more design I’m working on. I’ll write about it tomorrow.

- Jack’s Diary

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