Jack's Diary - Unreachable Peace - Day 55

     Evie is leaving us. When Mike and her got back, I expected to get yelled at for slamming Evie's head against a tree, but Mike didn't say anything. Either he's fine with it (I doubt he would be) or Evie didn't say anything (as strange as it is, it is more likely). Evie didn't frown or smile when she stood before me; she seemed passive and null to my presence, as if she no longer cared about me. It all could've been an act for all I know. As she left, her eyes never connected with mine. I would've liked her to stay despite the uneasiness. I feel we could've gotten so much closer and now I suppose I'll never know if we could or just what relationship we'd had have. We're similar in nature though different at heart. It is for the best though; she doesn't need a group. I joined a group because I needed people to watch over and she already has Sam.

     In the morning, I spoke with Mike. He said that we should be at the Valors base within a day or so.  We packed up and headed out and strangely, nothing bad happened to us: no attacks, no shortages, no detours, and no emotional drama or fights. I pitched myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. We also run into some kind of trouble or something unexpected happens. We stopped a few times to rest, giving me the chance to read farther into the explosives-making book I picked up previously. I also started sharpening one of the ends of the iron bar against a large rock and I sharpened my knives. These are small things, but they're nice to do. 

     Along the way, everyone except for Mike and me were talking about Evie and how cool it would've been if she stayed. I hadn't noticed this until today, but when we travel, Ann is always a few steps behind me. The only reason I noticed was due to the circumstances; there was no detectable danger around to distract me and Ann was talking with others and I could hear here behind me. Perhaps she feels safe with me leading her or perhaps she has an obsession with me. I have seen her watching me, but it's possible she watches everyone (a stalker by nature perhaps). She could have been staring at the back of my head the whole walk and I would never know. Whenever I look back, her eyes are always elsewhere. Strange.

     When we stopped again, I decided to talk to her. I led her under a tree far enough away from the group so they couldn't hear. 

     "Ann, have any of your memories returned?"

     She shyly shook her head no. I had hoped to start out on a positive note before bringing up my concern.

     "I've noticed you staring at me quite often," she jumped a little at this admission. "Would you mind telling me why?"

     "I'm... interested in you," she answered quietly.

     "Interested?"

     "You're strong, smart, and brave. You're unlike anyone I've ever met." she answer, speaking as if she was ashamed and embarrassed of admitting this.

     This was a suspicion of mine. I have no interest in bonding with anyone too much right now so I accepted her words as merely an explanation for her actions.

     "Alright. Just don't stare at me so much," I said as kindly as I could muster. 

     One thing I like is a balanced woman or at least one brave enough to go after what she wants. If she likes me bad enough the way I think and she approaches me on the subject again, I may be inclined to take her up on the offer. Her attraction to me would explain her staring so much and the reason why I saw her smiling after I argued with Evie (Ann may have saw her as an opponent). Still, my suspicions are not over. I'm still uncertain; I'm always uncertain. I must be partially insane. I always think someone's out to get me. This thinking has kept me alive, but for what purpose if I'm always so untrusting? Bonds can't be kept and eace can't be found. If you can't trust your friends then should you really have friends? Is the doubt I'm feeling have any truth to it or is it just paranoia? I really don't know. I feel fine being this way for now. I heard soldiers develop this type of mindset in combat and it sticks with them. I don't want to keep this forever. There's no point in living out my life if I can't live it as I want. 

     And to think, this all came up because someone may care about me. I should be happy that someone would think of me so kindly. Whether or not she really meant what she said doesn't matter as much as what's keeping me thinking about it. I just tired of this mindset of distrust. I want to believe Ann, but something is just not right: with her or me.

- Jack's Diary

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Mike's Diary - Day 43 "Valor's package"

       6 o'clock, the bell rings, the birds chirped away. It was dark hence the sun has not yet rises. It was calm, a cold sunday morning (if I'm not mistaken). I saw Jack in the distant with his backpack  walking towards us. 

       "Glad you changed your mind." I said

"I don't want you guys to die to be honest. 2 kids, why even are you bringing them With you?" He responded.

"First of all Victor (who was just turned 18 at a time) is not a kid. And Lexi, well it's Lexi. i'm sure you understand." I said

       My pickup truck will do the job. Jessie's on the passenger seat, and Victor, Lexi, and Jack are on the open trunk at the back.

      "Where we heading?" Jack said

      "The Valors' base. Going to make sure they have what they are willing to give us. I want the half rewards just to make sure they ain't lying." 

50 minutes, then here we are, on a wooden floor at the very front part of the Valors' base. *fast forward* yes we got the half from it. Then when it comes down to the package, it's just a paper. A paper? I thought, but it's not just a paper but there is an address written on it.

    "The package will be there, 5 stories building, looks almost like the white house. There is a basement, on the right there is a bunch of sand bags. Pick up the one with the red string then a wall-door will open." Says one of the valors.

     Of we go with our half rewards 

"See, wasn't that hard..." I said to everyone. Obviously no one responded. We stopped at a gas station, well I stop. I  send Victor and Jack away into the store just to make sure that there is nothing in it. I took out the map, and mark where we are at and where our destination is (Canada, British Columbia) nearly 50000 miles from where we are at right now, tis gonna be a long trip.

      Jack and Victor came back out from the store and told me that the place is safe, and that we could sleep inside, but i didn't want to get cornered by either craze or other survivors, so I decided for us all that it is better to be sleeping in a tent at the back of the store and that each person (excluding Lexi) will have to stay up 4 hours to patrol and so on. I am willing to go first so here I am. Trying to keep these loved ones in a tent to live another day so they can tell their stories.

        4 Hours have passed, I heard someone came out of the tent and yes, it is Jack. I finish my shift, make my way into the tent, and try to forget the frustrations for a moment.

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Mike's Diary Day 39 - Someone isn't gonna go home today.

          I woke up the next morning, feeling so relieved knowing that I'm still alive and in one piece. Something is kinda odd though, I feel like there's something is missing, oh well. The old man made me breakfast, so I eat it.

"You didn't put poison in it right?" I chuckle.

"Why would I?why should I?"

"Err, I don't know"

          I get up and brush lovely horse. She looks exhausted, well no kidding. She slept on a dirt lastnoght instead of her cozy, warm looking barn that's full of hay. Poorlittle thing. I don't know what the plan is for tokay, but for Dan sure I want to go back to base and spend no longer than another night outside with this old man and horse. I wonder what people in the base are up to today, and Lexi, and Moses, and Jack. Oh man ohman, its gonna be abother disastrous they for them. I pack up everything then off again to our jjourney in finding a way back home. 

         I was cruising a horse and then I felt something penetrates my right shoulder. The bullet makes its way through my?flesh and bones, the stinging of painT can feel, and I just fall off of my horse to the ground. I return fire

"Give me your gun!" The old man said, so I did. He then returns fire t the raiders, and I so cover his six with only a magnum pistol. My horse panics and ditched us two in the middle of a crossfire. Vision is starting to blur, all I can see is the oldman returning fire, then pass out.

      Then I see faces of people I know who were eaten alive and turned to one of those... things. I see blood, dead bodies, and all the stuff that can possibly disturb for life. In my unconsciousness, I'm thinking "this is it". I saw light, a bright red light, thinking "am I going to hell?" I just wish that people won't be worried about me, so I can die in piece, but again it will never happened. I was about to touch the light when I suddenly I hear gunfire, I was woken up by the hissing of the bullets and the old guy yelling at me and pleas to God to save me and keep me alive. Part of mybody is aching and I can barely get a hold on my own gun, when suddenly another bullet strikes me in m leg. The pain I can no longer bear with, then so I completely unconscious

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