Mike's Diary - day 50 "Old Childish Group Leader"

Life, life, life. It is indeed the most beautiful, yet tragic thing. It's hard to live without something to fight for, but now I guess I have people on my side who support me, but Lexi... 
    That is all I've been thinking since last night. I heard Jack said good night to me, I didn't say anything, yet I smiled without him realizing, I just can't believe how much I was needed by others. He went into his tent to sleep while I thought in my head If I die, let it be now. I then fell asleep outside for a couple hours then woke up to a scream,
     "FUCKKKK! HELP ME!"
It came from the little girl's tent. I rushed inside her tent and saw a craze on top of her body trying together a piece of her. Then, that instinct, to protect her just came to me. I pulled the craze out of the tent and hit its head with my crowbar several times to make sure that it's dead. I was breathing heavily, and came back to her.
     "Thanks."
     "mhmmm... no sweat." I was hesitated to respond, but I didn't want to be rude. Jack came, then the others.
     "You gu--" Jack was about to ask me, but I cut his words by pointing at the little girl, and whispered,
     "I'm okay. Get the little girl."
     "Name is FUCKING JULIE by the way! And I'm fine thank you very much!" Said the little girl. I ignored it (so obvious). I went back outside on the top of the trunk, drink some water, adjust watch the landscape, feel the breeze of the wind, and the smell of wild weed. Again, I just can't keep Lexi out of my damn mind.
     "What's our next step?" Jack asked
     "Deliver the package." I said
     "I'm a person old man!"
     "Either you shutup or you don't call me that."
     "Man fuck you too."
     "Shut it you both, or I'm gonna put you on these car for the whole trip and the others including me in the trunk." Jack said. I gave Jack the "You fucking kidding me" look while she did the same to Jack.
     "NO!" Julie and I said it at the same time.
     "Mike you're ffucking 24 years old, stop acting like that, you guys make the perfect siblings." Jack said, I didn't respond, especially when he knows what happened to Lexi, he really shouldn't have said that.
     "Pack up! We're going." I said
     "You're driving, Julie! Take the passenger seat." Jack said, fuck this I thought. We packed up and I drove the car. Julie and I didn't talk, yet didn't bother to attempt a conversation.
     "Sorry, you lost her." She said
     "Who." I said, then she had that were look, and didn't say anything else. It's not that I don't like Julie, I do. I just don't want accept the fact that she has to go with th vapors later on (once I'm attached to her like I was to Lexi, there's no turning back). No one has noticed this however, but I think Jack might be able to tell myfeeling, since he's pretty experienced in life. I just kept driving the truck, avoiding several craze, humm some songs, and all that boring stuff. Until the truck ran out of gas. Oh how great I thought, thank God we're in a city now, many cars, buildings, houses, stores, perhaps we can loot some good stuff.
     "You actually don't mind Julie to be with don't you?" Jack said (how surprising.) I didn't answer that of course, and continue unpacking. We set up the tent in the middle of the road. Julie went by herself into a store to gather some stuff, while we were busy looking for her. I saw her came back with some painkillers, I right away yelled at her,
     "What do you think you're doing? It's dangerous to go alone. You don't do stuff like that unless I say so understand?"
     "But?!"
     "Do you understand!!"
     "Yes. Old man."
     "D-dd-don't call me that. Argh..." while I point my finger at her.
Jack and the others just chuckled, I don't see why it's funny. After that incident, Jack whispered to me,
     "See, you care."
Again, I didn't't answer. I went back to the truck to keep a look out, while the others were in a circle chatting. I don't gather with te group that much anymore so I wouldn't know what they are chatting about, or secrets that they're not telling me. Oh well, I've changed. I don't know why, I'm mourning, yet I am happy with the group safe for now. Now, I'm just that childish old group leader who cares about others but don't wanna show it. I'm falling asleep, Julie was chatting with Jack about something, then to Jess, then back to Jack... oh my... why the hell do I care so fucking much, then I fell asleep as the group was still chatting.

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Jack's Diary - Lost in Memories - Day 49

     Well, I suppose things could have turned out worse. There could’ve been three people dead instead of one, but that thought doesn’t help boost everyone’s mood, especially Mike’s. I even tried to engage Mike in conversation to no avail on our way to the Valor’s base. He's stop talking for the most part and has basically stopped doing anything except breath. He has the same mood about him that I had after I lost Jane. I just hope he bounces back after some time and I hope he doesn't turn into someone like me. The world doesn't need another killer.

     It was my assumption that the paper we were delivering was the package. However, it turned out only to be a release slip for us to receive the real package: a young girl. It would’ve been nice to know this ahead of time (in which case, I may have chosen not to come). I don't want to be held responsible for someone else's life, especially a stranger's. What’s worse, the girl looked and acted a lot like Lexi and I could see Mike wasn’t happy with the thought of having this reminder with us, but I didn’t want to argue or decline the job since we knew nothing about the Valor’s “temperament” or how many men they had. There’s been enough death so I said we’d take the job despite Mike’s disapproval. The girl and Mike got into an argument about traveling with us, with Mike ending it, giving her the cold shoulder. I decided to stay out of it. Words won't help us.

     We set up camp nearby before heading out tomorrow. Ann and Jess talked inside the tent while I saw Mike sitting alone. The girl for some reason decide to start a conversation with me.

     "What the hell is that grumpy old man's problem?" she asked me.

     I paused for a moment. "Could be that in the first 10 seconds that we met you, you've cursed and complained to us."

     "So what. You have to put up with me. It's your job."

     "No. Our job is to get you there alive. Whether or not you want your vocal cords cut out relies completely on your behavior. Understand?"

     A look of shock came to her face. "You wouldn't..."

     "I can do far worse. Though you'd have to push me pretty far." The look remained on her face. "Relax. I only said that to shut you up. Mike would never let me."

     "Who's Mike?" she asked.

     "The guy you were complaining about before. He's usually in a better mood, but just before we came here, we lost one of our traveling companions so you might want to give him a break. She actually looked a lot like you."

     "One of your friends gets killed and I'm suppose to trust you with my life? How comforting," she says sarcastically.

     "You don't have much choice, do you? Besides, her and Mike went ahead alone to reach the Valor's base. Had we all been there, things might have turned out different."

     "Doubt it. You all look like a bunch of push overs," she said.

     I took out a knife and threw it at a tree nearly thirty feet away, the blade digging into the bark. Her eyes got wide when she saw me taking it out (she probably thought I was going to use it on her). I thought a small demonstration would accomplish more than words alone. "So, enough about me. Tell me about yourself. What's your name?"

     She still had a scared complexion on her face when she tried to talk, "My knife, I mean, my name is Julie."

     I asked her more about herself, like what things in life she liked, her past, and what she hoped for in the future. As the conversation went on, she became less afraid and more comfortable as I shared my experiences. I don't mind the idea of someone finding and reading this journal one day in the future since my life is an open book for anyone to learn about. That's part of the reason why I'm writing it, in the hopes that it will do someone some good, but Julie's thoughts and dreams are hers alone and I won't reveal the personal pieces here. However, I eventually managed to switch the conversation over to her time at the Valor's base.

     "A patrol group scavenging for supplies found me looting a covalence store for food." Julie told me. "They promised me food and a place to sleep if I went with them. I was already starving at the time and I hadn't slept in two days so I went with them. I didn't have anywhere else to go so I stayed with them for about three months and now they want to ship me out to another base like a package."

     "Did they mistreat you at all?" I asked.

     "No, but they didn't really pay attention to me that much. Only a few people stopped what they were doing to talk with me, only to get yelled at by the boss to get back to work."

     "Do you know anything about the base we're taking you to?"

     "I just told you they hardly said a word to me. This whole trip was a surprise to me and I hate it."

     "Well, you can look at the bright side. If it's a kid's camp, there will probably be kids around your age to talk to."

     "I don't care. I don't like being out here in the open. It's not safe. And who says I'd want to talk with the other kids? They're all probably jerks. What if someone there tries to kill me?"

     I paused for a moment (I seem to be doing a lot of that). "You didn't really think I was going to drop you off and leave, did you?" Julie gave me a strange look. "I can't speak for the others, but if I can see that things are just as bad as you imagine, I'm not going to leave you there."

     "Won't the Valors kill you if you don't get me there?"

     "Not if I kill them first." I dug into my bag and took out a knife and handed it to her. "Keep it with you all the time. You might need it."

     She smiled and took it. We stayed up a little longer talking about knives; where and how to conceal and use them. She eventually left to go to her tent. Everyone else was in their tents except for me and Mike. I walked over to the tree I threw my knife at and retrieved it. I said goodnight to Mike, but it didn't even seem like he noticed me. Lost in memories, perhaps?

     I really hope that the base turns out to be fine. As exciting as it would be, I don't want to start a battle with the Valors; too much risk in someone on my side getting killed. Besides, from what I've heard about the Valors, they seem like okay people; definitely better than the red and blue group. There's no need for good people to die.

     One last thing I guess I should mention. The entire time I was talking to Julie, it felt like someone was watching me. Before going into my tent, I thought I saw Ann head sticking out of the entrance to her tent watching me. As soon as I turned my direct vision to her tent, I didn't see her. 

- Jack's Diary

     

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Mike's Diary - Day 49 "Still to early."

    Nothing lasts forever, and I guess Jack was right. They were off of to burry Lexi. The girl who I been taking care of. The girl who I treated SS my sister. I got up, and walked towards them, just in time when they had finished their goodbyes. I walked towards Lexi's grave made out of rocks, and crouched down. I shed more tears, rage inside me is flaming up and I almost burst put again, but managed to calm myself down.
     "Lexi. I'm sorry." I cried even more, and yes I was thinking of wiping the clowns out. All of them, but I'm sure Jack already did so.
     "Mike." Jess called out, I didn't say anything and walked towards them.
     "Are you guys okay?" I said
     "Yes" Victor said
     "What's our next move?" Jack asked me.
     "Deliver the package. And who's this?"
     "Ann. I'm sorry for your loss." She said, but I didn't answer.
I'm becoming a very depressing person, I no longer talk a lot, barely answer questions. I feel emptiness, as if something in me is missing. I walked towards the truck that Jack and group road to this place, and sat on the passenger seat. Jack was Driving.
     "You gotta move on sometimes right?" He said, but I didn't answer. I just lost my appetite for everything, talking, food, even water. I don't feel thirsty all of the sudden. I just look out the window, thinking of what I could've done. Jack tried his best to make me let a word out, but it was all useless. I feel the breeze hitting my face, in the windy, and gloomy night. We kept driving and soon the sun rises from the east, as we reached the valor's base. I got off the truck, and met with one of the leaders. I gave him the letter, and told that we made a deal with his branch.
     "Ahhh... my postmen." Says he, then continues "you will be delivering, well not an object exactly." At the same time two vapors came out with the "package", it was a little girl.
     "You have to deliver this girl back to the kids camp that we have 400 miles from here." He said to me
     "You've got to be sitting me!"
     "I turned my back on him, and saw Pack's face." I know that look. I walked towards him and said
     "I can't."
     "It's too late now, we've made the deal. They could kill us."
     "...I."
     "We'll take it." Jack said. I looked at him and shook my head in a disappointment, and sigh. We took little girl with us, and she sits beside me.
     "Where the fuck are we going?" She asked me
     "Another base."
     "I Don't wanna go with you guys."
     "You're just gotta deal with it."
     "Can't you be anymore rude?"
     "You're the one who swore and complain about shit." I said
She looked over to Jack and said
     "What the fuck is his problem?!" Jack didn't answer.
     "What the he'll is wrong with you people?" She asked. Judging from how vulgar and young she is, reminds me to Lexi, but worse. Brunette, 5'2 feet, brown eyes, pony tail. I don't even bother to ask what her name is. There, we stopped to take a break, we unpacked and set up tents. Jess and Ann are in these tent, Victor and Jack, the girl sleeps alone, but close to Jess's tent, and I stay up. We made a campfire, I was the only one who sits with my book open on the trunk of the truck, still thinking about Lexi. This is too early for me I though to myself. I saw that vulgar girl talking with Jack, she asks too many questions and I'm not in the best mood. All I heard was
      "What the hell is that grumpy old man's problem??" She asked Jack
      "...los..breaa..." Jack said, which I couldn't hear clearly since our distance was 6 metres away. Who the fuck cares? I just wanna get this "package" delivered right away so I don't have to deal with anything complex ever again.

   

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Day 47

     "Are you okay?" I asked Lexi.

     "Yes, but Victor..."

     "Yeah I know. Go get some rest. You kicked ass though." I chuckled and gave her a hand gun. 

     "Now what." Said Jess who was taking care of Victor at the time. I looked to her, then glanced over to Jack. Oh I see you want revenge right Jack? Well it'd be better to do it after we deliver this thing don't you think? More guns, gather more people? Ask for Valors' help? 

     "So Jack." I asked

     "I'm going with or without you guys."

     "That's what I thought."

     "You, guys be safe. I'm going tomorrow morning"

     "No, everyone comes with you. I'll deliver this to valors myself."

     "Mike WHAT THE FUCK!" Lexi yelled from across the room.

     "Language." 

     "Don't tell me that. I'm going with you." She responded. All I could do is let her be. 

*NEXT MORNING* 

Everybody wakes up, and is packing their stuff.  

     "Jack how far is it? Their base?" I asked

     "Far enough. You two. We don't need two more dead people."

     "And I don't need three." I said, then I continued, "you see that church? The one over the mountain. We'll be there in 2 days. Try to catch up if you can. If you can't, turn back to base or go to this address." I handed him a copy o the address. Then we went on our own ways. Me and Lexi walked, far, far enough for her to collapse and just sit down in the middle of the muddy road to take a rest. It's not yet evening, but since winter is approaching, it gets pretty dark.

     "You haven't answered my question. What happened to you before you met me." I asked

     "I was with my aunt. But you know, shit went down. I try to survive, blablabla, 5 days later, you found me." She answered. "Yourself?" 

     "Me?" I asked "well, had a family once. They all dead."

     "I'm sorry." 

     "Me too."

I got her up and we continue walking. Craze here and there but they don't even bother us anymore, we tried our best to be unseen. Uzi in my right hand, a revolver in Lexi's. Lexi for some reason doesn't complain that much during the trip. You're a tough little kid for your age kiddo. We walk until it was really dark, approximately 15 miles away from the church. We set up a tent, went in it, I'm staying up and she's sleeping. We'll take turn obviously. There's nothing else to do, so I decided to write this. Hopefully those three are just fine, and can meet up with us in two days in the church. I was so stupid not telling them what the signal is when we're near by because yelling and screaming out names just doesn't cut it. It'll bring us to our own deaths. Mike, you're so dumb.

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Mike's Diary - Day 43 "Valor's package"

       6 o'clock, the bell rings, the birds chirped away. It was dark hence the sun has not yet rises. It was calm, a cold sunday morning (if I'm not mistaken). I saw Jack in the distant with his backpack  walking towards us. 

       "Glad you changed your mind." I said

"I don't want you guys to die to be honest. 2 kids, why even are you bringing them With you?" He responded.

"First of all Victor (who was just turned 18 at a time) is not a kid. And Lexi, well it's Lexi. i'm sure you understand." I said

       My pickup truck will do the job. Jessie's on the passenger seat, and Victor, Lexi, and Jack are on the open trunk at the back.

      "Where we heading?" Jack said

      "The Valors' base. Going to make sure they have what they are willing to give us. I want the half rewards just to make sure they ain't lying." 

50 minutes, then here we are, on a wooden floor at the very front part of the Valors' base. *fast forward* yes we got the half from it. Then when it comes down to the package, it's just a paper. A paper? I thought, but it's not just a paper but there is an address written on it.

    "The package will be there, 5 stories building, looks almost like the white house. There is a basement, on the right there is a bunch of sand bags. Pick up the one with the red string then a wall-door will open." Says one of the valors.

     Of we go with our half rewards 

"See, wasn't that hard..." I said to everyone. Obviously no one responded. We stopped at a gas station, well I stop. I  send Victor and Jack away into the store just to make sure that there is nothing in it. I took out the map, and mark where we are at and where our destination is (Canada, British Columbia) nearly 50000 miles from where we are at right now, tis gonna be a long trip.

      Jack and Victor came back out from the store and told me that the place is safe, and that we could sleep inside, but i didn't want to get cornered by either craze or other survivors, so I decided for us all that it is better to be sleeping in a tent at the back of the store and that each person (excluding Lexi) will have to stay up 4 hours to patrol and so on. I am willing to go first so here I am. Trying to keep these loved ones in a tent to live another day so they can tell their stories.

        4 Hours have passed, I heard someone came out of the tent and yes, it is Jack. I finish my shift, make my way into the tent, and try to forget the frustrations for a moment.

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Jack's Diary - Day 42

            Ah, a dilemma, just when good news rolls in. Let me start from the beginning.

            Mike came into my room and told me his brother gave the okay for farming and he put Mike in charge, but he told me to do what I wanted. He didn’t say anything about the rain catchers or some of the other small things I mentioned so I decided not to press my luck (for now). Besides, growing food was the main goal I had hoped to achieve at the base so it seems I will be staying and if the farming works out, I’m sure that there won’t be any objections to the next project I work on. I decided to begin small with planting next to our building to see if I could get plants to grow (different soil presents different problems). I managed to get a few seeds early on in the day while Mike went out to get some more supplies (alone again. I can’t say he isn’t consistent). The hardest part of farming, at least in this situation, is preparing the ground. The soil was dense and had many rocks throughout it so I needed to loosen the soil with a plough, but since I am at a base and not a farming convention, I spent most of the day searching for/creating the tools necessary. With some scrap metal, some left over branches, and an old wheel, I put together an ugly looking till. I also found a shovel and hoe (though I had to trade some of my newly made weapons for them since the survivors were using them as clubs). For as much as I planned on doing, I was considering not ploughing and just digging holes and planting the seeds since the plough would probably not hold up for as much as I planned to do.

            Thirty minutes in, after I had broken and replaced the plough’s tip three times, I changed my mind and started digging holes and planting seeds. I planted spinach since it grows fast and I’ll be able to tell if I can grow in this soil. Since I knew the other survivors would not want me using up their drinking water on crops, I went in search of a stream and a few minutes in, I found one outside the base a few minutes away. After carrying buckets of water back from the stream to the base, I was tired and before going in, I set up six large barrel in the back of the building to catch rain water because I really didn’t want to make the trip to the stream next time.

            I went back to my room and work on the weapons again, recreating the ones I traded away (They weren’t really that creative anyway. A large hunk of metal stuck onto a thick wooden stick is a practical weapon, but it looks like junk). Mike came in later and told me that he and a few of his friends were going to deliver a package to a group of people named “Valors” in exchange for weapons and food. I had never heard that name before and I knew the entire thing was a bad idea, especially when he told me just how far he’d be going. Neither of us knew anything about the Valors. Why did they want a group of strangers to deliver a package? How do we know they’re not sending us into a trap or if they’ll even pay up once the package has been delivered? There could be a bomb in the package and maybe they want us to deliver it to a rival base. There was too much uncertainty and I’ve learned to be cautious of everything and everyone, even friends. Worst of all, Mike just got back not too long ago from being capture and the same thing may just happen again. I didn’t give him a definitive answer, but he told me if I still want to join to meet him at the gates at 6 o’clock sharp.

            I spent hours thinking about it after he left. I feel like I’ve been thinking about this for a week now. As much as I’d like for Mike and his friends to stay safe, I can’t keep looking after them like they are children (well, Mike at least. The others are actually children). If a man throws himself into the ocean and almost dies and you save him, what would have been the use if he does it again and again after each time you save him? It’s just delaying the end result. Still, that’s kind of over-exaggerating the situation. Mike has the right intention and for all I know, the situation could work out fine. I’d let Mike go on this mission by himself to see if my expectations of his abilities are right or wrong, but he’s bringing Lexi, Jessie, and the others and death can come so swiftly for anyone. And really, it’s going to take some time away for the spinach to grow and that dull feeling of adventure and meaning are nagging at me; they’re the only things that keep the nightmares away. I’m going. However, I’m going to go talk with Mike about Victor coming along. He’s a little too young and we may need someone with more experience.

- Jack's Diary

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Day 42 Valors. -Mike's Diary

     I went and talked to my brother, he seems so disappointed, yet relieved that I talked to him. Then he said "Fine,, but I want you to keep an eye on jack. Sure you guys can farm, just don't mess everything up. And Mike, you're in charge." 

     In my mind, I was so happy that I have solved another conflict in this base, I feel more useful than I ever before. I walked up to Jack when he seemed to be doing something in his room, and told him the good news. And sure enough, e was happy. I told him I was in charge and  I want him to do whatever the hell he wants about the garden at the bak, hence I know no shit about gardening.

     That evening I decided to go on a run to gather some antibiotics and some seeds for Jack, so that he can start on the garden as soon as possible. There was something odd about this town though, all the walls were stamped with the word "Valors" I wonder what it means. In about 30 mins trough my run, I encountered another base of survivors, I didn't want them to know my existence because it'd mean more wars between groups, so I decided to leave. On the way back, I encountered 2 guys, and their sweaters say "Valors". So that's what it means. Surprisingly, they didn't threatened me, in fact they offered me a deal, a good deal. They would give me food and more weapons, but I have to deliver something to the other branch of Valors across the province. I took the deal.

     I said that I'd get going tomorrow with  5 other survivors. The night when I got home, I saw someone was standing in the dark, it was Lexi. I told her that we'll be going somewhere tomorrow with Jack, Jessie, and Victor. She said okay, and she told Victor and Jessie the same thing, but she didn't even bother asking why and where. After I finished talking to Lexi, I decide to break the news to Jack, sure enough he didn't seem to like the idea of the deal thing. Oh well, what can I say. I told him that we are going across the province, and it made him insist more to not going. I was upset for sure but I didn't wanna show it, then I said "If you change your mind, meet us by the front gate tomorrow morning 6 o'clock sharp." Then I left. That night, I packed everything from food, clothes, first aid, and guns, then I sleep while wondering what kind of "package" that we have to deliver such that they would give us huge amount of resources.

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